For many of you, you have follow my blog 'The Upside'...For the past two years I have been blogging about my sweet mom's personal battle with Alzheimer's. Over the course of the summer my mom has been battling bouts of skin cancer. She has endured several trips to the surgeon each trip it seems has become more frequent. One of the great blessings of her fading memory is she no longer lives her life in fear or worry. She no longer bares the burdens of the past or future, she can only live, see and feel in her present moment.. what so often we all call 'real time'....
My mom's world revolved around opportunities to serve others within our small community in South Dakota. She was a Patriot... proud to be an American, proud to serve her political party... My mom had the opportunities to meet many dignitaries... I think she would 'gush' to tell you she had the great privilege of meeting both President Bush Sr. and George W. She admired George W and always carried a treasured picture taken of the both of them. She made everyone laugh when she told us she may just never wash her hand again...
Growing up I admired my mother for her sheer determination.. I never knew her to be afraid of anything... not that she would have told me anyway... she fought for the ideals she believed in. Helped those struggling around her, always the first to be called and always the last to leave someone in need. At times my mother could be hard and distant... she quietly fought her personal battles within the solitude of her heart.
Tuesday morning my mother is under going surgery yet again. This time her foe... is a deadly group of uninvited cancer cells...My son Griffin took my hand at dinner the other night and asked me if I was starting to prepare myself.... It had never occurred to me.. this cancer could spread... it never occurred to me that the out come could require greater thought and deliberation...
This morning I went over to the group home my mother now calls home. We had a great visit about her youth... the times in her life that have left indelible memories.. She speaks as if her youth was yesterday...and in a sense in was... time passes so fast... and in her quest for life... she is happy and really feels joy! She enjoys so many of the simple things... those fleeting pleasures at one time she had no time for... She relishes her family, going out to lunch, reading magazines at Barnes and Noble, just having company stop in and see her... speaking often of her own parents, her beloved Aunt Louis and Uncle Bill. She recalls growing up in Utah... the peaches, the cherries and the farm in which she learned much of her determination...
Today I filled my heart with treasured reflection of my mom. In many aspects I have inherited her confidence, passion and sense of humor... today I took pictures with my heart... Tomorrow I will start to prepare for the outcome.
I asked in a face book post if I asked you to pray for my family would you? The response was overwhelming... today my dear friends I ask you again to pray in earnest for my family... remember my mother who is in the fight of her life.
A profound thank you to all.
Live with Intensity and Purpose
Carla
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