As I was listening to Christmas music this morning I started reflecting back on the extraordinary year I have enjoyed. My life is filled with love, prosperity and accomplishment. As I look back... it's been an incredible year.
Kylie turned 21 in January... A huge milestone. We had a party and celebrated 21 years of accomplishment! It's hard to imagine she is working towards completing her college education... She loves life.. and jumps right in.
Ethan turned 18 in March.. A milestone that my children are all grown and continuing to follow their dreams. It's as if in the twinkling of an eye... 29 years has gone by... reaffirming that life is fleeting and precious. We celebrated with gusto with the Kurtz family in San Diego... It was an treasured time at the beach!
I had the great opportunity to connect with Professor Thomas Nazario, who not only teaches Law at the University of San Francisco Law School, he's founded 'The Forgotten International'. Through several emails, phone calls and heart felt conversations he came to Phoenix to meet me and speak at Mesa Community College to encourage each of us to live a meaningful life and get involved within our communities to make a difference. Tom is an extraordinary man and the future opportunities his friendship will afford me are priceless.
After Tom came to speak in April, I was invited to a VIP reception to meet and talk with Dr. Jill Biden, ASU President Michael Crow along with other national and local dignitaries. It was a humbling experience to be selected to represent MCC. Jill Biden is gracious, well educated and passionate about education and affording everyone the opportunity to attend community college. It was an amazing evening and the contacts I made once again will be priceless and I continue my educational pursuits.
May was a time of celebration as my rigorous spring semester came to a close... However this time our celebration was centered around Ethan and his graduating from High School. We were blessed to have his dad and his family here supporting Ethan. It was a great week end. During the week I had the great privilege to be a part of the MCC team who hosted the Community College Conference on Civic Engagement. An incredible opportunity to meet faculty and administrators from all over the country.
June 21, 2010 we welcomed sweet Henli Grace Albers into this world. There are no words I can share that can express my feelings of being present with Brett and Cori when precious Henli was born. The miracle of birth is simply extraordinary... there are no words but my heart has been enlarged and I fell in love once again.. Between Brett, Cori, Kylie and myself there were many tears of gratitude shed! Our family is so blessed and Henli has been such a joy! The greatest reward is watching your daughter transform into a tender loving new mother... Little Miss not only are you loved beyond measure.... you are being raised by extraordinary parents!
The beginning of September brought a fall semester... more incredible opportunities for me to speak at conferences and present Project HOPE and continue my studies..
September also brought immense joy with the engagement of Griffin and Jackie. Not only am I gaining a beautiful daughter in law, I am gaining new family who are incredible.. Again we has a family have been blessed beyond measure...
I turned 50.. In December... My kids planned a "surprise party" for me. It was the perfect evening filled with the people who I love and enrich my life. They bought me a Tiffany Heart... with "MOM" engraved on the front.. and "We are Honored" on the back... I have been so blessed... I look back over the past 15 years of raising children as a single mom... and smile...I have accomplished much... and raised 4 amazing children who are kind, passionate and accomplished...I am now enjoying the dividends... of raising a "Great Family"!!!!!!!!! My happy dance would not be complete with out thanking Greg.. and especially Ann who has been a wonderful step mother to my children. Ann thank you for your kindness, acceptance and unconditional love... together we have raised an amazing family...
December brought the honor of being chosen the most 'Distinguished' member of our Phi Theta Kappa Chapter, the National Honor Society for Community Colleges. This honor is most precious because I was nominated and chosen from a group of my peers. A special thank you to the officers and their unrelenting support of Project HOPE.
We spent Christmas Eve at Griffin and Jackie's this year... starting a host of new Holiday traditions for our family. I don't recall a better Holiday season. I love the Christmas season. I am so very grateful for my Savior who was born that day in the City of David.. for his constant companionship, love and encouragement. I love the sweet Christmas music that fills my heart.. I love the lights, the baking, the shopping, spending time together with each of my kids, skyping with Cori, Brett and Henli, new friendships and the new opportunities I am blessed with.
As I look back over the past year.... I have come to understand myself and my abilities. This past year has brought new perspectives, greater understanding and wisdom.
As I close out 2010... I would like to share a wish that a sweet woman gave me yesterday... As I was wishing her A Happy New Year... she turned to me and smiled.. I then asked her what she would wish for... she said without hesitation "World Peace".. we smiled together and I said... wouldn't that be something... she then said... actually how about starting with families... Peace within our families would be the greatest gift....I agreed.
I wish each of you A Happy New Year filled with hope, reconciliation and prosperity!
Happy New Year!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Carla
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Conservative or Liberal and Pregnant at 14....
I've had the great opportunity of coordinating Project H.O.P.E (Healthy Outcomes through Prevention and Education)through the Center for Service Learning at Mesa Community College. Project H.O.P.E is a grant project awarded to MCC to educate college students about healthy relationships, sex, family planning and most crucial about 'staying in school' completing your college education. Being raised in the LDS Church I thought I had a deep and meaningful understanding of service. It's not uncommon to give a hand when someone is in need. Most of my service has revolved around helping others move, clean, watching kids, dogs, picking up mail, delivering a meal, telephone calls to check in with those who are sick, new mom's or new to the neighborhood. I have also felt the call to civic duty... However today brought a whole new perspective of the importance of community service.
This morning our Project H.O.P.E team; Heather, Liz, Tiffany, Sheila and myself were invited to present at Compadre High School in Tempe. Compadre is a non traditional high school serving high school students at risk. Prior to our presentation we had the opportunity to tour the on site daycare facilities. We were talking to a parenting class of young mothers 14-17 years old. I spent most of my time in the newborn nursery holding a gorgeous little lady named Larissa. Larissa was easy to pick out of the crowd, she was fussy and crying. As I bent down to pick her up, I could feel her little rock hard tummy while she struggled to pull her legs up. She had a tummy ache, her premature birth and low birth weight are contributors to her delicate digestive system. At 6 weeks she has a full head of black hair, beautiful brown eyes, sparkly little pink earrings and a tiny features.
I couldn't help but think of my own little grand daughter and how precious she is. I thought back on a long conversation my daughter Cori and I had about placing Henli in daycare as Cori would have to return to work. I remember Cori's anxiety about leaving Henli and in trying to decide on the right daycare provider. As Miss Larissa's cry grew louder, my thoughts turned to her and her 15 year old mother. I felt absolutely sick.... I asked myself... how in the world does a 14 year old girl find herself pregnant and not know it? And better yet how did her parents not know? She literally went 7 months with NO prenatal care. She didn't think having unprotected sex could equal having a baby. She and the baby daddy didn't stay together.
Well dear friends... the question I ask you is... Have we failed our children? Each of us has a story to tell about the 'talk' or lack of the 'talk' we experienced as youth. Did your parents talk to you about sex? Well if your parents couldn't talk to you about sex, I would bet you struggled to talk to your own kids. How can you teach your kids about sex, when the very topic was off limits to you? This is a huge problem in our culture.... Kids having babies... and grandparents raising them...
The next question I hear all the time is.... Don't they teach Sex Ed in schools?????? Well if you live in Arizona the answer is NO.... in Arizona our children are taught abstinence if anything at all..... Yet statistically Arizona holds the title of 3rd highest teen birth rate in the nation... Impressive???
Where is the disconnect? Parents feel it is their sacred right to discuss such matters as pro-creation and family values at home... Yet this is not happening in most homes.... Educators feel a great sense of frustration as they are teaching our sexually active and in many cases pregnant students that abstinence is the only sure way to ovoid an unplanned pregnancy or worse an uninvited sexually transmitted disease...
The real need is for us as parents, educators and legislator's to find a middle ground and start working together. Parents could use some coaching on how and when to start the dialog about sex... educators need to have the resources available to teach medically accurate information and the latitude to open up dialog with their students... Legislator's when will you take a hard look at the numbers? Teen pregnancy and skyrocketing birth rates have to be paid for... as a tax payer I expect more from you! I am living in an age of instantaneous communication..Internet, texting, GPS... yet when it comes to education our children about sex,contraception and family values we are living in the STONE AGE....
It's time to take a proactive stand in teaching our children, early about healthy relationships, encouraging good self esteem, sexual relationships, contraception, family planning and getting a good education. If our children are truly our greatest natural resource... and the future leaders of tomorrow.... then we need to get our act together as adults to ensure the success of our children today!
There is no conservative or liberal stand on protecting our children.... just proactive or reactive....
It's time to talk....
This morning our Project H.O.P.E team; Heather, Liz, Tiffany, Sheila and myself were invited to present at Compadre High School in Tempe. Compadre is a non traditional high school serving high school students at risk. Prior to our presentation we had the opportunity to tour the on site daycare facilities. We were talking to a parenting class of young mothers 14-17 years old. I spent most of my time in the newborn nursery holding a gorgeous little lady named Larissa. Larissa was easy to pick out of the crowd, she was fussy and crying. As I bent down to pick her up, I could feel her little rock hard tummy while she struggled to pull her legs up. She had a tummy ache, her premature birth and low birth weight are contributors to her delicate digestive system. At 6 weeks she has a full head of black hair, beautiful brown eyes, sparkly little pink earrings and a tiny features.
I couldn't help but think of my own little grand daughter and how precious she is. I thought back on a long conversation my daughter Cori and I had about placing Henli in daycare as Cori would have to return to work. I remember Cori's anxiety about leaving Henli and in trying to decide on the right daycare provider. As Miss Larissa's cry grew louder, my thoughts turned to her and her 15 year old mother. I felt absolutely sick.... I asked myself... how in the world does a 14 year old girl find herself pregnant and not know it? And better yet how did her parents not know? She literally went 7 months with NO prenatal care. She didn't think having unprotected sex could equal having a baby. She and the baby daddy didn't stay together.
Well dear friends... the question I ask you is... Have we failed our children? Each of us has a story to tell about the 'talk' or lack of the 'talk' we experienced as youth. Did your parents talk to you about sex? Well if your parents couldn't talk to you about sex, I would bet you struggled to talk to your own kids. How can you teach your kids about sex, when the very topic was off limits to you? This is a huge problem in our culture.... Kids having babies... and grandparents raising them...
The next question I hear all the time is.... Don't they teach Sex Ed in schools?????? Well if you live in Arizona the answer is NO.... in Arizona our children are taught abstinence if anything at all..... Yet statistically Arizona holds the title of 3rd highest teen birth rate in the nation... Impressive???
Where is the disconnect? Parents feel it is their sacred right to discuss such matters as pro-creation and family values at home... Yet this is not happening in most homes.... Educators feel a great sense of frustration as they are teaching our sexually active and in many cases pregnant students that abstinence is the only sure way to ovoid an unplanned pregnancy or worse an uninvited sexually transmitted disease...
The real need is for us as parents, educators and legislator's to find a middle ground and start working together. Parents could use some coaching on how and when to start the dialog about sex... educators need to have the resources available to teach medically accurate information and the latitude to open up dialog with their students... Legislator's when will you take a hard look at the numbers? Teen pregnancy and skyrocketing birth rates have to be paid for... as a tax payer I expect more from you! I am living in an age of instantaneous communication..Internet, texting, GPS... yet when it comes to education our children about sex,contraception and family values we are living in the STONE AGE....
It's time to take a proactive stand in teaching our children, early about healthy relationships, encouraging good self esteem, sexual relationships, contraception, family planning and getting a good education. If our children are truly our greatest natural resource... and the future leaders of tomorrow.... then we need to get our act together as adults to ensure the success of our children today!
There is no conservative or liberal stand on protecting our children.... just proactive or reactive....
It's time to talk....
Thursday, November 25, 2010
The art of 'Thanksgiving'
Thursday, November 25, 2010... Thanksgiving...
This morning as the house was still, I am listening to Christmas music, sipping on a delicious cup of Earl Gray tea... with a hint of cream. One of my favorite things... enjoying a few solitary minutes reflecting on my many blessings, prior to engaging in the hectic game of life. A week ago I cooked a turkey for our department luncheon... as I left campus to run home, carve the turkey and return... I remember feeling so grateful for my warm sweater and heated seats as a very chilly north wind blew right through me. While waiting at a busy intersection listening to Christmas music I couldn't help notice a man standing in the center of the street, trying to get across before the turning signal turned green.. he was holding a tattered bag, his clothing was dirty and filled with holes. There was no question the arrival of cold weather had caught him off guard... yet I couldn't help but think... He probably doesn't have a winter coat, sweater, gloves... or a family at home waiting for him to return. I knew life was hard for this man.
I felt a pit in the middle of my stomach... My thoughts turned to how hard life can be for all of us at times. What happens in the lives of so many that they are out on the streets? Hard times, illness, homelessness, poverty, divorce, addictions, no family, few friends, loneliness, depression, unemployment and death.. As I drove home I decided to rekindle my relationship with my gratitude journal throughout this holiday season. In light of the problems around me... I turned my focus to the blessings of life. I was overwhelmed as I started taking an inventory.....
The list is long and treasured... My children.. Griffin, Jackie, Cori, Brett, Kylie and Ethan, I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother and for the special relationships I cherish with each of my kids... My sweet little grand daughter Henli. Henli called me last week to share her new find... She has found her voice and is laughing out loud... Oh my what a feeling it is to hear her laugh... She is such a blessing to each of us. We are all crazy about the divine Miss 'H'. Great friends... Oh my ... have I been blessed with amazing friends that support me, inspire and encourage me every day... good health, the overwhelming feeling of peace and accomplishment in my life, the incredible opportunity to return to school and expand my knowledge, every day is like pulling a new treasure out of the treasure chest..Being afforded the opportunity to coordinate Project HOPE for Mesa Community College. I am grateful for the gift of understanding, wisdom and hard work. I am grateful for the a heart that feels compassion for others. I have been blessed with an amazing sense of humor. I am grateful for my positive outlook on life and determination to accomplish my goals and live my dreams.
I am in awe of the daily intervention of the divine in my life. The magical way my questions and prayers are answered... The incredible people who walk into my life at exactly the right time.. The extraordinary opportunities I have to give back and serve those around me.
We've all heard the old adage...."Is your glass half empty.... or half full"? How do you live your life on a daily basis... Is your life a journey of wonder and thanksgiving.... or a hardship filled with unhappiness? There is an art to living in a state of constant thanksgiving....
My wish for each of you this "Thanksgiving Day 2010" is to cultivate the art of 'thanksgiving' in your daily lives...it all starts with an inventory... Get a head start as the holiday season is upon us. Take the time to feed and nourish your spirit through the art of 'Thanksgiving'
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Happy Thanksgiving...
Carla
This morning as the house was still, I am listening to Christmas music, sipping on a delicious cup of Earl Gray tea... with a hint of cream. One of my favorite things... enjoying a few solitary minutes reflecting on my many blessings, prior to engaging in the hectic game of life. A week ago I cooked a turkey for our department luncheon... as I left campus to run home, carve the turkey and return... I remember feeling so grateful for my warm sweater and heated seats as a very chilly north wind blew right through me. While waiting at a busy intersection listening to Christmas music I couldn't help notice a man standing in the center of the street, trying to get across before the turning signal turned green.. he was holding a tattered bag, his clothing was dirty and filled with holes. There was no question the arrival of cold weather had caught him off guard... yet I couldn't help but think... He probably doesn't have a winter coat, sweater, gloves... or a family at home waiting for him to return. I knew life was hard for this man.
I felt a pit in the middle of my stomach... My thoughts turned to how hard life can be for all of us at times. What happens in the lives of so many that they are out on the streets? Hard times, illness, homelessness, poverty, divorce, addictions, no family, few friends, loneliness, depression, unemployment and death.. As I drove home I decided to rekindle my relationship with my gratitude journal throughout this holiday season. In light of the problems around me... I turned my focus to the blessings of life. I was overwhelmed as I started taking an inventory.....
The list is long and treasured... My children.. Griffin, Jackie, Cori, Brett, Kylie and Ethan, I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother and for the special relationships I cherish with each of my kids... My sweet little grand daughter Henli. Henli called me last week to share her new find... She has found her voice and is laughing out loud... Oh my what a feeling it is to hear her laugh... She is such a blessing to each of us. We are all crazy about the divine Miss 'H'. Great friends... Oh my ... have I been blessed with amazing friends that support me, inspire and encourage me every day... good health, the overwhelming feeling of peace and accomplishment in my life, the incredible opportunity to return to school and expand my knowledge, every day is like pulling a new treasure out of the treasure chest..Being afforded the opportunity to coordinate Project HOPE for Mesa Community College. I am grateful for the gift of understanding, wisdom and hard work. I am grateful for the a heart that feels compassion for others. I have been blessed with an amazing sense of humor. I am grateful for my positive outlook on life and determination to accomplish my goals and live my dreams.
I am in awe of the daily intervention of the divine in my life. The magical way my questions and prayers are answered... The incredible people who walk into my life at exactly the right time.. The extraordinary opportunities I have to give back and serve those around me.
We've all heard the old adage...."Is your glass half empty.... or half full"? How do you live your life on a daily basis... Is your life a journey of wonder and thanksgiving.... or a hardship filled with unhappiness? There is an art to living in a state of constant thanksgiving....
My wish for each of you this "Thanksgiving Day 2010" is to cultivate the art of 'thanksgiving' in your daily lives...it all starts with an inventory... Get a head start as the holiday season is upon us. Take the time to feed and nourish your spirit through the art of 'Thanksgiving'
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Happy Thanksgiving...
Carla
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Having to be right...
I've thought a lot about what it means to HAVE TO BE RIGHT... I was raised in a family where... you learned early on.... you had to be right.... no matter what the cost.. when I was younger I associated being right.. with being popular.. being powerful, it never occurred to me.. if I was always right, that meant those around me were wrong... a life time of experience later... My experience with "having to be right" has been a powerful lesson in opportunity cost... It doesn't matter who it is.. If you have to be right... you let those around you know they are WRONG... Soon you will be alone... all alone.... it's no picnic to be around someone who makes you feel wrong..
What is the cost you are willing to pay to be right? Are you willing to destroy a relationship with a sibling, friend, spouse, parent or child? What lengths will you go to.. in trying to make your point, letting someone else know how wrong they are and feeling like you have won a one sided conversation?
Let me share my wakening... on the subject of ego, control and forcing conformity on those people in your life... IT DOESN'T WORK...
All you have to do is take a quick inventory on the quality of your relationships with the very people you interact with every day.... Much like the childhood bully... the adult bully is also despised...
The choice is simple....
You can either choose to 'be right' from an ego perspective...Or you can choose to be happy.. simply loving others for who they are, taking responsibility for your behavior, making restitution when you need to, being grown up enough to realize life is short... and every minute counts... how you choose to spend your minutes is up to you... Having to be right comes at a high price... especially to those who live with you... Being happy is being at peace with those you love and enjoying close relationships with your family.
Where do you fit in?
May your relationships be rewarding and happy....
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
What is the cost you are willing to pay to be right? Are you willing to destroy a relationship with a sibling, friend, spouse, parent or child? What lengths will you go to.. in trying to make your point, letting someone else know how wrong they are and feeling like you have won a one sided conversation?
Let me share my wakening... on the subject of ego, control and forcing conformity on those people in your life... IT DOESN'T WORK...
All you have to do is take a quick inventory on the quality of your relationships with the very people you interact with every day.... Much like the childhood bully... the adult bully is also despised...
The choice is simple....
You can either choose to 'be right' from an ego perspective...Or you can choose to be happy.. simply loving others for who they are, taking responsibility for your behavior, making restitution when you need to, being grown up enough to realize life is short... and every minute counts... how you choose to spend your minutes is up to you... Having to be right comes at a high price... especially to those who live with you... Being happy is being at peace with those you love and enjoying close relationships with your family.
Where do you fit in?
May your relationships be rewarding and happy....
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Monday, September 13, 2010
3 Wishes...
I am home today.. fighting a nasty head cold... I was thinking how terrible I was feeling when all of a sudden I thought.. What if I was granted 3 wishes today... what would I wish for... Then it dawned on me... Would my wishes be more along the lines of gratitude or pity, inspiration or inconvenience or finally long term joy or short term remedy... Very powerful thoughts.... It's easy when our body is wearing down to become emotional about how every ache and pain is hurting and unpleasant... the unfairness of sickness (and mine is just a common cold). It's easier when I am healthy to take for granted how blessed I really am.
I started thinking about my three wishes... here is what I came up with:
1). Wishing my daily attitude to an attitude of Gratitude! Yes there are going to be peaks and valleys in daily living... yet with that being said... OH MY GOODNESS... let me start by taking an inventory of my blessings: Griffin, Jackie, Cori, Brett, Henil (my sweet little miss), Kylie and Ethan.. Being born of goodly parents who provided the avenues for many of my opportunities today. Having the opportunity to return to school and making the most of my experiences, treasured friends, receiving answers to my prayers, feeling inspiration.. Have the opportunity to live at this time, understanding my contribution as a mother to four of the most amazing children. Being blessed with a great sense of humor and sharing my humor with those around me. Being the change I wish to see in my children, my community and ultimately my world.
2). Wishing Prosperity in the lives of everyone I come in contact with. Prosperity is not just about money... as a matter of fact most people I know who have money are the most unhappy. People who chase after money become consumed with power and materialism often leaving little time to enjoy the real treasures of life. I guess that is why God said... where your heart is...so is your treasure... I love the word Prosperity... Prosperity is the state of flourishing, thriving, success, or good fortune really encompassing happiness and health. What a fabulous state of mind to constantly thrive in... Wishing those around you success in their lives, relationships, raising their children, employment, health and happiness. I really believe prosperity is an eternal principle. The more we seek to be engaged in good works the more prosperity can flow right back into our lives.
3). Wishing for greater Wisdom. As the world continues to change, as problems continue to plague our homes and communities. My wish is for greater wisdom. Wisdom is a deep understanding and realizing of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to choose or act to consistently produce the optimum results with a minimum of time and energy. Can you imagine how different your relationships with others could be if we exercised a greater understanding, without judgment? Wisdom requires a willing heart and mind. Wisdom requires daily practice and patience. Wisdom is respect and tolerance, while accepting people, things, events or situations as they are, and trusting yourself enough to know you have developed greater insight...
Gratitude, Prosperity and Wisdom are my three wishes.
Interestingly enough while I have been blogging.. I have also started feeling better.. I have come to know that when life is moving ahead and all systems are go... I tend to get very casual in expressing my gratitude for all that I have... Today this little exercise has been good for me... creating the clarity for me to embrace all that I have and fill my congested head with joy and bliss.
I always end with Live with Intensity and Purpose... I was asked why...
Our lives are measured by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years, the older I have become... the faster time passes... Even on the bad days... we have a choice in how we spend our precious time. For many years I was angry and bitter.. When I finally came to a place where I could understand that... 8 years had passed.. 8 years that I could never get back. 8 years that I chose to stay stuck... to me that wasn't living with purpose ... just regret.... When I realized I was the only one that could change what I had created... I felt much like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz... I was wearing my ruby red slippers waiting for everyone else to get me home... Much to my surprise... with hard work, complete honesty, forgiveness and a willingness to try another way... I did find my way back... to a much better life..
I have found living with the intensity of love and the understanding of my personal purpose.. I am alive, vibrant and focused.. and my days are filled with magical experiences and moments.
To you my sweet sister where every you may be today... My wishes for you are may your hearts always been filled with Gratitude, may your lives be blessed with great Prosperity and may your hearts be filled with Wisdom to create your heaven on earth.
My wish for you all... To Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
I started thinking about my three wishes... here is what I came up with:
1). Wishing my daily attitude to an attitude of Gratitude! Yes there are going to be peaks and valleys in daily living... yet with that being said... OH MY GOODNESS... let me start by taking an inventory of my blessings: Griffin, Jackie, Cori, Brett, Henil (my sweet little miss), Kylie and Ethan.. Being born of goodly parents who provided the avenues for many of my opportunities today. Having the opportunity to return to school and making the most of my experiences, treasured friends, receiving answers to my prayers, feeling inspiration.. Have the opportunity to live at this time, understanding my contribution as a mother to four of the most amazing children. Being blessed with a great sense of humor and sharing my humor with those around me. Being the change I wish to see in my children, my community and ultimately my world.
2). Wishing Prosperity in the lives of everyone I come in contact with. Prosperity is not just about money... as a matter of fact most people I know who have money are the most unhappy. People who chase after money become consumed with power and materialism often leaving little time to enjoy the real treasures of life. I guess that is why God said... where your heart is...so is your treasure... I love the word Prosperity... Prosperity is the state of flourishing, thriving, success, or good fortune really encompassing happiness and health. What a fabulous state of mind to constantly thrive in... Wishing those around you success in their lives, relationships, raising their children, employment, health and happiness. I really believe prosperity is an eternal principle. The more we seek to be engaged in good works the more prosperity can flow right back into our lives.
3). Wishing for greater Wisdom. As the world continues to change, as problems continue to plague our homes and communities. My wish is for greater wisdom. Wisdom is a deep understanding and realizing of people, things, events or situations, resulting in the ability to choose or act to consistently produce the optimum results with a minimum of time and energy. Can you imagine how different your relationships with others could be if we exercised a greater understanding, without judgment? Wisdom requires a willing heart and mind. Wisdom requires daily practice and patience. Wisdom is respect and tolerance, while accepting people, things, events or situations as they are, and trusting yourself enough to know you have developed greater insight...
Gratitude, Prosperity and Wisdom are my three wishes.
Interestingly enough while I have been blogging.. I have also started feeling better.. I have come to know that when life is moving ahead and all systems are go... I tend to get very casual in expressing my gratitude for all that I have... Today this little exercise has been good for me... creating the clarity for me to embrace all that I have and fill my congested head with joy and bliss.
I always end with Live with Intensity and Purpose... I was asked why...
Our lives are measured by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years, the older I have become... the faster time passes... Even on the bad days... we have a choice in how we spend our precious time. For many years I was angry and bitter.. When I finally came to a place where I could understand that... 8 years had passed.. 8 years that I could never get back. 8 years that I chose to stay stuck... to me that wasn't living with purpose ... just regret.... When I realized I was the only one that could change what I had created... I felt much like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz... I was wearing my ruby red slippers waiting for everyone else to get me home... Much to my surprise... with hard work, complete honesty, forgiveness and a willingness to try another way... I did find my way back... to a much better life..
I have found living with the intensity of love and the understanding of my personal purpose.. I am alive, vibrant and focused.. and my days are filled with magical experiences and moments.
To you my sweet sister where every you may be today... My wishes for you are may your hearts always been filled with Gratitude, may your lives be blessed with great Prosperity and may your hearts be filled with Wisdom to create your heaven on earth.
My wish for you all... To Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Saturday, September 11, 2010
9 years later........................
I had just returned from a week of training in New York... The date was September 8,2001. I love the city...from Time Square to Battery Park... Grabbing a cab and heading to the Village..shopping, eating, dancing... oh and working. New York is an amazing city that never sleeps. I was staying at the Marriott Financial right in the heart of the financial district... every morning I would walk through the World Trade Center on my way to 26th and Broadway.. just two blocks from Wall Street.
The last night of my stay I was going to meet a friend for dinner at Windows on the World... the restaurant on the top of the World Trade Center... known for it's incredible menu and breath taking view of the city. Around 6:30 that night we decided to stay in, a nasty thunderstorm had detoured us.. I thought next time I'm back I'm going to make that a priority... I knew I was coming back in November... I had spent many a birthday's in New York... meeting up with my dad, seeing old friends, taking in Rockefeller Center, Radio City, shopping and of course watching the ice skaters and taking in the National Christmas tree... all that would have to wait... I had to get home and back to my kids in Arizona....
I've been asked a lot... do you remember where you were on 9/11? the answer is always yes.... I sure do. I was getting ready for work watching TV when the first plane hit... I remember calling my sister and asking her if she was watching the same thing I was.... it was just minutes later the second plane hit... I remember siting down in shock.. one plane could surely be an accident... but two... it never occurred to me that someone would deliberately fly a plane into the World Trade Center.. What was happening? The huge fire balls, the thick black cloud of smoke covering miles, watching the complete chaos of those scrambling to help and those desperate to escape the burning inferno. I quickly called my office... the Phoenix office would be opening as usual... however the markets would remain closed for days. I remember driving to work that morning... my route was right along the glide path for Sky Harbor which is an insanely busy route at all hours of the day... every 90 seconds a plane is taking off and landing... it's not uncommon to see 3 sometimes 4 planes stacked as they wait their turn on final approach... 9/11 Tuesday morning was different... eerily there were no planes taking off or landing.. it was if the whole world had come to a stand still...
My thoughts turned to those people working in the towers, from the financial institutions to the retail shops and restaurants below. Windows on the World was gone.. wiped out.. never to be again. What was happening to them.. I then thought about all of the little shops, eatery's, family businesses, coffee shops that all call the Trade Centers home.... I felt sick and scared...I remember watching President Bush at the elementary school and thinking my country is under siege.
Our office closed early as we all were trying to grasp what had just happened. Watching the steady stream of news... every station was fixed on the same shots of the trade centers... No one every imagined both would come crashing to the ground below. The human toll would be great...Then as the story unfolded with the Pentagon and Flight 93.... who could ever imagine... those dear souls... their families, their children, their parents...
Each of us carry the scars from that day... stories of bravery...sadness, inspiration and mercy filled the airwaves... Loved one's on those planes being able to call home.. in many cases being able to talk to their wives, parents, and children. Stories of chance... someone missing the train, being stuck in traffic, being carried down 60 flights of steps... No matter how you look at 9/11.. our lives profoundly changed that day.
Today there is the remnant of war, hate and mistrust... There is the debate on building the Mosque at ground zero, while a white minster in the south declared he was going to burn the Koran....
It is my hope for our world... that we as parents teach our children love and tolerance... mercy and compassion... patience and forgiveness... The burden of protecting our borders.. starts within the wall of our own homes. If we teach our children love and acceptance.. it's hard to incite war.. If we teach our children tolerance our communities become stronger... if we teach our children to respect others... we invite opportunities of understanding and lay the foundation for peace.
We as parents have the responsibility and opportunities to make all the difference in the communities in which we live. Our children are just an extension of our values...I learned a life changing lesson on 9/11... Never put off what you really want to accomplish in life today.. never put off your dreams... much like my dinner date for Window's on the World... I can never go back... that opportunity was lost.. As I have moved forward in faith.. I have learned to welcome change, seek out new opportunities while embracing the thunderstorms of life while learning to dance in the rain!
9 years later... I earnestly live by.. ~Being The Change
I Wish To See In The World~...
My wish is for continued paths of growth, opportunities to create positive change and a future generation who are more visionary....
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
The last night of my stay I was going to meet a friend for dinner at Windows on the World... the restaurant on the top of the World Trade Center... known for it's incredible menu and breath taking view of the city. Around 6:30 that night we decided to stay in, a nasty thunderstorm had detoured us.. I thought next time I'm back I'm going to make that a priority... I knew I was coming back in November... I had spent many a birthday's in New York... meeting up with my dad, seeing old friends, taking in Rockefeller Center, Radio City, shopping and of course watching the ice skaters and taking in the National Christmas tree... all that would have to wait... I had to get home and back to my kids in Arizona....
I've been asked a lot... do you remember where you were on 9/11? the answer is always yes.... I sure do. I was getting ready for work watching TV when the first plane hit... I remember calling my sister and asking her if she was watching the same thing I was.... it was just minutes later the second plane hit... I remember siting down in shock.. one plane could surely be an accident... but two... it never occurred to me that someone would deliberately fly a plane into the World Trade Center.. What was happening? The huge fire balls, the thick black cloud of smoke covering miles, watching the complete chaos of those scrambling to help and those desperate to escape the burning inferno. I quickly called my office... the Phoenix office would be opening as usual... however the markets would remain closed for days. I remember driving to work that morning... my route was right along the glide path for Sky Harbor which is an insanely busy route at all hours of the day... every 90 seconds a plane is taking off and landing... it's not uncommon to see 3 sometimes 4 planes stacked as they wait their turn on final approach... 9/11 Tuesday morning was different... eerily there were no planes taking off or landing.. it was if the whole world had come to a stand still...
My thoughts turned to those people working in the towers, from the financial institutions to the retail shops and restaurants below. Windows on the World was gone.. wiped out.. never to be again. What was happening to them.. I then thought about all of the little shops, eatery's, family businesses, coffee shops that all call the Trade Centers home.... I felt sick and scared...I remember watching President Bush at the elementary school and thinking my country is under siege.
Our office closed early as we all were trying to grasp what had just happened. Watching the steady stream of news... every station was fixed on the same shots of the trade centers... No one every imagined both would come crashing to the ground below. The human toll would be great...Then as the story unfolded with the Pentagon and Flight 93.... who could ever imagine... those dear souls... their families, their children, their parents...
Each of us carry the scars from that day... stories of bravery...sadness, inspiration and mercy filled the airwaves... Loved one's on those planes being able to call home.. in many cases being able to talk to their wives, parents, and children. Stories of chance... someone missing the train, being stuck in traffic, being carried down 60 flights of steps... No matter how you look at 9/11.. our lives profoundly changed that day.
Today there is the remnant of war, hate and mistrust... There is the debate on building the Mosque at ground zero, while a white minster in the south declared he was going to burn the Koran....
It is my hope for our world... that we as parents teach our children love and tolerance... mercy and compassion... patience and forgiveness... The burden of protecting our borders.. starts within the wall of our own homes. If we teach our children love and acceptance.. it's hard to incite war.. If we teach our children tolerance our communities become stronger... if we teach our children to respect others... we invite opportunities of understanding and lay the foundation for peace.
We as parents have the responsibility and opportunities to make all the difference in the communities in which we live. Our children are just an extension of our values...I learned a life changing lesson on 9/11... Never put off what you really want to accomplish in life today.. never put off your dreams... much like my dinner date for Window's on the World... I can never go back... that opportunity was lost.. As I have moved forward in faith.. I have learned to welcome change, seek out new opportunities while embracing the thunderstorms of life while learning to dance in the rain!
9 years later... I earnestly live by.. ~Being The Change
I Wish To See In The World~...
My wish is for continued paths of growth, opportunities to create positive change and a future generation who are more visionary....
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Math Tutor ...
Tonight I had the extraordinary experience of having dinner with Griffin and Jackie in celebration of their engagement. Griffin invited Kylie, Ethan and I to dinner. Jackie's mom Lisa also joined us. It was a very special evening for all of us. It was incredible for Griffin to share his heartfelt plan of how he was going to propose. All of his planning, the race to get the ring designed and completed, the location, how was he going to ask... I'm not sure I can express the feelings in my heart, as my son's shares his feelings about his sweet future wife.. here is my son 27 years later... a grown man who is successful in every aspect of his life. I am so proud of him. Griffin is a prince who found his princess in Jackie. He planned the perfect moment on a beautiful beach in Cabo... at sunset.. A gorgeous setting.. he knew how important this moment would be in Jackie's life..A treasured moment they shared privately talking about their dreams and future. Together they share a deep respect, love and passion for creating a life together.. They are in love with each other, with their dogs, with life...
Tonight as we gathered around the table for dinner, I smiled to myself as I took in every blissful moment as we listened to Jackie tell her story... of finding her prince.. and the fairytale that has brought them to this point. Jackie had no idea.. Griffin had just asked her to walk on the beach when in the perfect spot he dropped to one knee and asked her to be his wife. She said the minute he dropped on his knee she was already crying, when he pulled out the little black box... the tears really started to flow. Griffin had captured her heart... She knew at that moment the answer had always been yes... and know the time was right. Admiring the spectacular diamond on her finger and knowing how much time and detail went into planning the perfect token of Griffin's love for her...Griffin smiled as he proudly told me... he's tutored a lot of students and solved a lot of math problems in order to pay for the ring... we all laughed, Griffin is my tutor and a darn good one. It's nice to know I have made several contributions to his future endeavors.... Griffin has made a priceless investment into his future... he has carefully chosen this companion.. and she is a gem!
I am so fortunate to be a part of this happiness...I am so proud of my children. It was hard not to be over come with emotion at the table tonight as I reflected on my children. Cori, Brett and Henli were absent, they live in Missouri and we miss them every day... but they will soon join us in our celebration... We are going to celebrate Little Miss and the engagement! Henli can't wait to see how you have grown.. There is so much JOY in my life!
Tonight I celebrated with my math tutor.... You are simply amazing...
Much Love....
Mom..
Live with Intensity and Purpose..
Tonight as we gathered around the table for dinner, I smiled to myself as I took in every blissful moment as we listened to Jackie tell her story... of finding her prince.. and the fairytale that has brought them to this point. Jackie had no idea.. Griffin had just asked her to walk on the beach when in the perfect spot he dropped to one knee and asked her to be his wife. She said the minute he dropped on his knee she was already crying, when he pulled out the little black box... the tears really started to flow. Griffin had captured her heart... She knew at that moment the answer had always been yes... and know the time was right. Admiring the spectacular diamond on her finger and knowing how much time and detail went into planning the perfect token of Griffin's love for her...Griffin smiled as he proudly told me... he's tutored a lot of students and solved a lot of math problems in order to pay for the ring... we all laughed, Griffin is my tutor and a darn good one. It's nice to know I have made several contributions to his future endeavors.... Griffin has made a priceless investment into his future... he has carefully chosen this companion.. and she is a gem!
I am so fortunate to be a part of this happiness...I am so proud of my children. It was hard not to be over come with emotion at the table tonight as I reflected on my children. Cori, Brett and Henli were absent, they live in Missouri and we miss them every day... but they will soon join us in our celebration... We are going to celebrate Little Miss and the engagement! Henli can't wait to see how you have grown.. There is so much JOY in my life!
Tonight I celebrated with my math tutor.... You are simply amazing...
Much Love....
Mom..
Live with Intensity and Purpose..
Saturday, September 4, 2010
The Proposal.......Griffin is Engaged!!
I was sitting in my Diversity Class on Thursday night when a text message from Griffin came through. I had just spoken to him Thursday morning as he was getting ready to board this plane for Cabo San Lucas. Griffin and Jackie were going with Jackie's parents for their annual long week in the sun.. Griffin has always loved the beach, the sun and the complete relaxation this trip brings. He told me he loved me and he would see me next week. When I saw his text I was a little concerned, just because I know unless it was very important he wouldn't be trying to connect from Mexico...
I grabbed my glasses picked up my phone and much to my surprise was the following message, "Mom, I asked Jac to be my wife, she said yes!!!" which was followed by a picture of the spectacular diamond ring on Jackie's little finger. What a moment.... it was as if... a slide show of Griffin's life starting playing in my mind..I recalled my holding him in the hospital right after his birth, his first smile, his first laugh out loud, his first attempt at crawling and then walking. His sweet little spirit with fat little hands... His blond hair and blue eyes.. His love of learning, his gift for persistence. His love of Philosophy and other cultures.. His love of travel and adventure. How does a mother express, explain and share her feelings about her son? Griffin was a beautiful little toe headed boy who has grown into a devastatingly handsome man who is confident in his abilities and secure in the life he has chosen. Griffin was always focused on one goal or the next. He is blessed with great intellect, compassion, kindness and a keen sense of justice and mercy.
When I saw the ring... and let me tell you ladies... it was a sparkler... I could tell like everything in Griffin's life, he was deliberate in his planning, creating and presenting Jackie with the perfect ring. His proposal would have been intimate, personal and well thought out. Griffin is just that way... He is an extraordinary man who has prepared himself well for taking the next step in his life.
Griffin was never one to rush into relationships. It's as if he always knew he would find his North Star when the time was right.. and that he did. Griffin and Jackie are often compared to Ken and Barbie... they fit each other perfectly. Both of them treat each other with the up most respect, kindness, consideration and love. Key ingredients for building a successful life together..
I absolutely adore Jackie... She is just a wonderful woman. I am blessed to have her in my life. Not only is she gorgeous, she is kind, compassionate and always sees the best in everyone. Jackie is a bundle of positive energy and she attracts everyone to her. Together Griffin and Jackie will accomplish great things in life.
When the news came.. I was moved to tears... I have had the extraordinary opportunity of raising Griffin. It's hard to express the joy a mother feels when she sees her son growing into a man who magnifies the qualities of love, integrity, respect, kindness and compassion especially towards his future wife. Within their circle of friends, I am reminded often of what a wonderful man Griffin is.
When Griffin asked Jackie's dad for his permission to ask Jackie to marry him... Dennis told me... He was moved to tears. He also told me how lucky Jackie was to have a partner who loves her unconditionally, encourages her to follow her dreams. Dennis knows Griffin will take good care of Jackie...
Happiness is having a relationship with your adult children... Joy is being a part of their daily lives.... Bliss is watching your children marry and have children of their own... Divine is understanding the blessings you have...Gratitude is a profound thankfulness for the love than binds us.
The proposal.. the ring... now turn to the planning...
Today I send Griffin and Jackie my love... as they enjoy a Saturday on the beach planning their future... By the Way.... I hope you both will have your sunglasses on... Your future is so bright, your going to need them.
I love you both.. see you next week!
Love Mom...
Live with Intensity and Purpose.
I grabbed my glasses picked up my phone and much to my surprise was the following message, "Mom, I asked Jac to be my wife, she said yes!!!" which was followed by a picture of the spectacular diamond ring on Jackie's little finger. What a moment.... it was as if... a slide show of Griffin's life starting playing in my mind..I recalled my holding him in the hospital right after his birth, his first smile, his first laugh out loud, his first attempt at crawling and then walking. His sweet little spirit with fat little hands... His blond hair and blue eyes.. His love of learning, his gift for persistence. His love of Philosophy and other cultures.. His love of travel and adventure. How does a mother express, explain and share her feelings about her son? Griffin was a beautiful little toe headed boy who has grown into a devastatingly handsome man who is confident in his abilities and secure in the life he has chosen. Griffin was always focused on one goal or the next. He is blessed with great intellect, compassion, kindness and a keen sense of justice and mercy.
When I saw the ring... and let me tell you ladies... it was a sparkler... I could tell like everything in Griffin's life, he was deliberate in his planning, creating and presenting Jackie with the perfect ring. His proposal would have been intimate, personal and well thought out. Griffin is just that way... He is an extraordinary man who has prepared himself well for taking the next step in his life.
Griffin was never one to rush into relationships. It's as if he always knew he would find his North Star when the time was right.. and that he did. Griffin and Jackie are often compared to Ken and Barbie... they fit each other perfectly. Both of them treat each other with the up most respect, kindness, consideration and love. Key ingredients for building a successful life together..
I absolutely adore Jackie... She is just a wonderful woman. I am blessed to have her in my life. Not only is she gorgeous, she is kind, compassionate and always sees the best in everyone. Jackie is a bundle of positive energy and she attracts everyone to her. Together Griffin and Jackie will accomplish great things in life.
When the news came.. I was moved to tears... I have had the extraordinary opportunity of raising Griffin. It's hard to express the joy a mother feels when she sees her son growing into a man who magnifies the qualities of love, integrity, respect, kindness and compassion especially towards his future wife. Within their circle of friends, I am reminded often of what a wonderful man Griffin is.
When Griffin asked Jackie's dad for his permission to ask Jackie to marry him... Dennis told me... He was moved to tears. He also told me how lucky Jackie was to have a partner who loves her unconditionally, encourages her to follow her dreams. Dennis knows Griffin will take good care of Jackie...
Happiness is having a relationship with your adult children... Joy is being a part of their daily lives.... Bliss is watching your children marry and have children of their own... Divine is understanding the blessings you have...Gratitude is a profound thankfulness for the love than binds us.
The proposal.. the ring... now turn to the planning...
Today I send Griffin and Jackie my love... as they enjoy a Saturday on the beach planning their future... By the Way.... I hope you both will have your sunglasses on... Your future is so bright, your going to need them.
I love you both.. see you next week!
Love Mom...
Live with Intensity and Purpose.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Reflection and Preparation.....
For many of you, you have follow my blog 'The Upside'...For the past two years I have been blogging about my sweet mom's personal battle with Alzheimer's. Over the course of the summer my mom has been battling bouts of skin cancer. She has endured several trips to the surgeon each trip it seems has become more frequent. One of the great blessings of her fading memory is she no longer lives her life in fear or worry. She no longer bares the burdens of the past or future, she can only live, see and feel in her present moment.. what so often we all call 'real time'....
My mom's world revolved around opportunities to serve others within our small community in South Dakota. She was a Patriot... proud to be an American, proud to serve her political party... My mom had the opportunities to meet many dignitaries... I think she would 'gush' to tell you she had the great privilege of meeting both President Bush Sr. and George W. She admired George W and always carried a treasured picture taken of the both of them. She made everyone laugh when she told us she may just never wash her hand again...
Growing up I admired my mother for her sheer determination.. I never knew her to be afraid of anything... not that she would have told me anyway... she fought for the ideals she believed in. Helped those struggling around her, always the first to be called and always the last to leave someone in need. At times my mother could be hard and distant... she quietly fought her personal battles within the solitude of her heart.
Tuesday morning my mother is under going surgery yet again. This time her foe... is a deadly group of uninvited cancer cells...My son Griffin took my hand at dinner the other night and asked me if I was starting to prepare myself.... It had never occurred to me.. this cancer could spread... it never occurred to me that the out come could require greater thought and deliberation...
This morning I went over to the group home my mother now calls home. We had a great visit about her youth... the times in her life that have left indelible memories.. She speaks as if her youth was yesterday...and in a sense in was... time passes so fast... and in her quest for life... she is happy and really feels joy! She enjoys so many of the simple things... those fleeting pleasures at one time she had no time for... She relishes her family, going out to lunch, reading magazines at Barnes and Noble, just having company stop in and see her... speaking often of her own parents, her beloved Aunt Louis and Uncle Bill. She recalls growing up in Utah... the peaches, the cherries and the farm in which she learned much of her determination...
Today I filled my heart with treasured reflection of my mom. In many aspects I have inherited her confidence, passion and sense of humor... today I took pictures with my heart... Tomorrow I will start to prepare for the outcome.
I asked in a face book post if I asked you to pray for my family would you? The response was overwhelming... today my dear friends I ask you again to pray in earnest for my family... remember my mother who is in the fight of her life.
A profound thank you to all.
Live with Intensity and Purpose
Carla
My mom's world revolved around opportunities to serve others within our small community in South Dakota. She was a Patriot... proud to be an American, proud to serve her political party... My mom had the opportunities to meet many dignitaries... I think she would 'gush' to tell you she had the great privilege of meeting both President Bush Sr. and George W. She admired George W and always carried a treasured picture taken of the both of them. She made everyone laugh when she told us she may just never wash her hand again...
Growing up I admired my mother for her sheer determination.. I never knew her to be afraid of anything... not that she would have told me anyway... she fought for the ideals she believed in. Helped those struggling around her, always the first to be called and always the last to leave someone in need. At times my mother could be hard and distant... she quietly fought her personal battles within the solitude of her heart.
Tuesday morning my mother is under going surgery yet again. This time her foe... is a deadly group of uninvited cancer cells...My son Griffin took my hand at dinner the other night and asked me if I was starting to prepare myself.... It had never occurred to me.. this cancer could spread... it never occurred to me that the out come could require greater thought and deliberation...
This morning I went over to the group home my mother now calls home. We had a great visit about her youth... the times in her life that have left indelible memories.. She speaks as if her youth was yesterday...and in a sense in was... time passes so fast... and in her quest for life... she is happy and really feels joy! She enjoys so many of the simple things... those fleeting pleasures at one time she had no time for... She relishes her family, going out to lunch, reading magazines at Barnes and Noble, just having company stop in and see her... speaking often of her own parents, her beloved Aunt Louis and Uncle Bill. She recalls growing up in Utah... the peaches, the cherries and the farm in which she learned much of her determination...
Today I filled my heart with treasured reflection of my mom. In many aspects I have inherited her confidence, passion and sense of humor... today I took pictures with my heart... Tomorrow I will start to prepare for the outcome.
I asked in a face book post if I asked you to pray for my family would you? The response was overwhelming... today my dear friends I ask you again to pray in earnest for my family... remember my mother who is in the fight of her life.
A profound thank you to all.
Live with Intensity and Purpose
Carla
Friday, August 27, 2010
The Pain of Divorce... 14 years later.....
I had an experience with my youngest son Ethan this week I want to share with you. Tuesday was my oldest son Griffin's 27th birthday and we met at Griffin's favorite Mexican restaurant. After dinner Ethan and I were driving home when our conversation turned to frustration and then to tears... After walking in the house I was trying to gauge my feelings.. was I tired... frustrated... overwhelmed... I was feeling a lot of everything... Griffin in his wisdom stepped into the ensuing conversation and said... Time Out let's get a better handle on this conversation...
During the course of our conversation.. Griffin brought up a few of his feelings about "my" expectations of him at 18 which at best were hard... ok impossible... as I listened to him... I thought about my current situation as a full time student working part time.. and how I feel overwhelmed most days.. with the pressure of getting good grades, keeping current with homework, making sure my financial obligations are met and ect... I never realized how unrealistic and hard I had been on Griffin... I understand now, I understand the sacrifices, time commitment and stresses associated with being an exceptional student... try to hold down a full time job... not impossible just difficult...
While I reflected on my expectations of Ethan I could see where he was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Ethan has a gift for music.. and his intention is to be a music producer... Ethan has been accepted to the prestigious Conservatory for the Recording Arts and Sciences in Phoenix... The cost is staggering... I have thought for months how am I going to do this by myself...
I had a chance meeting with a friend on Tuesday evening prior to our birthday celebration... He has been a great friend and supporter of Ethan... When he stopped by later Tuesday evening.. he told Ethan of the love he has for him. Ethan has always held this friend in high esteem... but the gravity of this love and support for Ethan was overwhelming...Ethan was able to dig deep and shared many thoughts and feelings about his experiences of having divorced parents...
Although the years have passed and the scar has been healing... the pain my sweet son feels is real... 14 years later. It has taken me a long time to forgive and find that good place for me... and even though I have moved on and the relationship between Greg and I is really better... I haven't taken the time to look through Griffin, Cori, Kylie or Ethan's eyes to see the divorce from their perspective.. To understand how they have felt... and are feeling... to feel their pain...It's much different to be a child of divorced parents versus the spouse... children are always in the middle... always wanting a loving relationship with both parents...It's ok as a parent to step back and reevaluate behaviors that don't serve you well. it's more than ok to learn a new way of doing something... it's better to realize what is really important... it's a bonus when you have your children to gently guide you through the mistakes of adulthood. It's a blessing at the end of the day when you see your children hugging each other and saying I LOVE YOU every time they talk to each other. I am the direct reciepnt of all of their love, kisses, hugs, late night conversations, secrets, telephone calls, facebook posts.... I am so blessed to be such a huge part of my childrens lives...
14 years later... we are a strong family unit.. we are learning to communicate for the first time.. we are learning to really support and encourage each other. Griffin made the comment that we all want the same good things for each other.. we need to stop in those moments of frustration, regroup and seek understanding first. There is no ego... just direct and honest communication. After an amazing group hug... I stood in the midst of three of my amazing children and let the tears free fall... Spending daily time with my children has become a treasured way of life. I talked to my children everyday... I am blessed beyond measure.. Most of all we are learning we are divinely connected to many wonderful friends who are cheering us on! We as a family have not only survived... we are flourishing.. each of us is moving through our lives making the most of our opportunities..
Ethan's dream of attending the Conservatory is now within his reach...there are many who have stepped up in offering their support. Ethan is just beginning his journey... but what a send off... there are so many who have been present in his life.. during the big.... and daily moments... you know who you are... Thank you...
During the course of our conversation.. Griffin brought up a few of his feelings about "my" expectations of him at 18 which at best were hard... ok impossible... as I listened to him... I thought about my current situation as a full time student working part time.. and how I feel overwhelmed most days.. with the pressure of getting good grades, keeping current with homework, making sure my financial obligations are met and ect... I never realized how unrealistic and hard I had been on Griffin... I understand now, I understand the sacrifices, time commitment and stresses associated with being an exceptional student... try to hold down a full time job... not impossible just difficult...
While I reflected on my expectations of Ethan I could see where he was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Ethan has a gift for music.. and his intention is to be a music producer... Ethan has been accepted to the prestigious Conservatory for the Recording Arts and Sciences in Phoenix... The cost is staggering... I have thought for months how am I going to do this by myself...
I had a chance meeting with a friend on Tuesday evening prior to our birthday celebration... He has been a great friend and supporter of Ethan... When he stopped by later Tuesday evening.. he told Ethan of the love he has for him. Ethan has always held this friend in high esteem... but the gravity of this love and support for Ethan was overwhelming...Ethan was able to dig deep and shared many thoughts and feelings about his experiences of having divorced parents...
Although the years have passed and the scar has been healing... the pain my sweet son feels is real... 14 years later. It has taken me a long time to forgive and find that good place for me... and even though I have moved on and the relationship between Greg and I is really better... I haven't taken the time to look through Griffin, Cori, Kylie or Ethan's eyes to see the divorce from their perspective.. To understand how they have felt... and are feeling... to feel their pain...It's much different to be a child of divorced parents versus the spouse... children are always in the middle... always wanting a loving relationship with both parents...It's ok as a parent to step back and reevaluate behaviors that don't serve you well. it's more than ok to learn a new way of doing something... it's better to realize what is really important... it's a bonus when you have your children to gently guide you through the mistakes of adulthood. It's a blessing at the end of the day when you see your children hugging each other and saying I LOVE YOU every time they talk to each other. I am the direct reciepnt of all of their love, kisses, hugs, late night conversations, secrets, telephone calls, facebook posts.... I am so blessed to be such a huge part of my childrens lives...
14 years later... we are a strong family unit.. we are learning to communicate for the first time.. we are learning to really support and encourage each other. Griffin made the comment that we all want the same good things for each other.. we need to stop in those moments of frustration, regroup and seek understanding first. There is no ego... just direct and honest communication. After an amazing group hug... I stood in the midst of three of my amazing children and let the tears free fall... Spending daily time with my children has become a treasured way of life. I talked to my children everyday... I am blessed beyond measure.. Most of all we are learning we are divinely connected to many wonderful friends who are cheering us on! We as a family have not only survived... we are flourishing.. each of us is moving through our lives making the most of our opportunities..
Ethan's dream of attending the Conservatory is now within his reach...there are many who have stepped up in offering their support. Ethan is just beginning his journey... but what a send off... there are so many who have been present in his life.. during the big.... and daily moments... you know who you are... Thank you...
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Justice Studies, Kylie and Relationships....
Going back to school has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. One of the perks of going to Mesa Community College is, I've had the opportunity to take a couple of classes with Kylie (my youngest daughter). This semester we are both taking "Justice Studies". When our class started on Monday.. Kylie let me know as we were walking into the classroom she was going to call me 'Carla'.. She didn't want everyone knowing I was her mom...
As class got underway.. Our instructor (who by the way has her JD and PhD) started making her way through her syllabus when she stopped and clearly defined her expectations about classroom etiquette. She made is clear nothing annoys her more than cell phones ringing, cell phones left to vibrate on the desktop, texting under the table and getting up to leave class to take a call. Keep in mind our instructor is a former prosecutor. She has a thriving career and she doesn't pull out her phone to make or take a call during our 50 minutes of class. Just then a woman sitting in the front row across from Kylie and I started to argue a passionate case about... I have children, I am a mother, I need to be available if my children call, I need to have access to my phone all the time.... She was very dramatic in her plea... After a few minutes of an unsuccessful attempt to sway our instructor... Our instructor asked for a show of hands how many other parents were in the room. I slowly raised my hand... and then my instructor turned and asked me how many children and their ages... I smiled and said... I don't need to worry about my daughter calling... I enrolled her in class with me...
We all had a great laugh... My instructor commented on how much Kylie and I looked alike... ( a smiled) and she asked if we were really mother and daughter.. I smiled and said yes...she then said... if your THAT important... you would have someone else answering your calls.... TRUE... it's funny how we value self importance at times..
It's going to be a great semester..
On another note... yesterday August 24... was my oldest son's birthday... Griffin is simply amazing. We had the precious opportunity of getting together to really communicate as a family and reevaluate our goals... It's interesting how difficult communication can be at times, especially with those we love the most. I learned a great lesson from my son last night...Griffin is a peaceable soul.. and old soul... he is wise, kind and insightful. I find it ironic that in the midst of our lives, so much noise and chatter are deafening, yet nothing is really being said, heard or accomplished most of the time. Communication is an art... learning to actively listen is difficult at times, learning to place ourselves in an other's shoes is almost impossible. Yet when we come together with no ego or agenda .. we can allow ourselves to really be present in the moment... and communicate what is in our hearts. In the end... both our lives and relationships are greatly enhanced... After all don't we all want many of the same things? Health, Prosperity, Close Relationships with our Loved Ones?
I adore my children. I am so grateful for the relationships that we all enjoy. It's taken time, practice and patience to get to this point. Relationships are in constant need of love, forgiveness, kindness and daily nurturing... In order for relationships to be successful.. they require daily attention, time and repairing. If your cup is over flowing and life is extraordinary... I would bet your personal relationships are incredible... It's easy to gauge someones success based on the relationships they enjoy..
Life comes at you quickly and passes even faster... Take the time to really listen to those you love... really communicate... step up your game... make more effort to right any wrongs you have hanging out there... Love like there is no tomorrow...
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
As class got underway.. Our instructor (who by the way has her JD and PhD) started making her way through her syllabus when she stopped and clearly defined her expectations about classroom etiquette. She made is clear nothing annoys her more than cell phones ringing, cell phones left to vibrate on the desktop, texting under the table and getting up to leave class to take a call. Keep in mind our instructor is a former prosecutor. She has a thriving career and she doesn't pull out her phone to make or take a call during our 50 minutes of class. Just then a woman sitting in the front row across from Kylie and I started to argue a passionate case about... I have children, I am a mother, I need to be available if my children call, I need to have access to my phone all the time.... She was very dramatic in her plea... After a few minutes of an unsuccessful attempt to sway our instructor... Our instructor asked for a show of hands how many other parents were in the room. I slowly raised my hand... and then my instructor turned and asked me how many children and their ages... I smiled and said... I don't need to worry about my daughter calling... I enrolled her in class with me...
We all had a great laugh... My instructor commented on how much Kylie and I looked alike... ( a smiled) and she asked if we were really mother and daughter.. I smiled and said yes...she then said... if your THAT important... you would have someone else answering your calls.... TRUE... it's funny how we value self importance at times..
It's going to be a great semester..
On another note... yesterday August 24... was my oldest son's birthday... Griffin is simply amazing. We had the precious opportunity of getting together to really communicate as a family and reevaluate our goals... It's interesting how difficult communication can be at times, especially with those we love the most. I learned a great lesson from my son last night...Griffin is a peaceable soul.. and old soul... he is wise, kind and insightful. I find it ironic that in the midst of our lives, so much noise and chatter are deafening, yet nothing is really being said, heard or accomplished most of the time. Communication is an art... learning to actively listen is difficult at times, learning to place ourselves in an other's shoes is almost impossible. Yet when we come together with no ego or agenda .. we can allow ourselves to really be present in the moment... and communicate what is in our hearts. In the end... both our lives and relationships are greatly enhanced... After all don't we all want many of the same things? Health, Prosperity, Close Relationships with our Loved Ones?
I adore my children. I am so grateful for the relationships that we all enjoy. It's taken time, practice and patience to get to this point. Relationships are in constant need of love, forgiveness, kindness and daily nurturing... In order for relationships to be successful.. they require daily attention, time and repairing. If your cup is over flowing and life is extraordinary... I would bet your personal relationships are incredible... It's easy to gauge someones success based on the relationships they enjoy..
Life comes at you quickly and passes even faster... Take the time to really listen to those you love... really communicate... step up your game... make more effort to right any wrongs you have hanging out there... Love like there is no tomorrow...
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Eat Pray Love....... La Dolce Vita!
I have seen Eat Pray Love twice. I don't think there is a women who has seen the movie who couldn't relate Liz Gilbert's story. From the moment we arrive on the planet is seems our destiny is clearly being guided if not forced down a narrow path of limited traditional choices... girlfriend, marriage, wife, limited career, keeper of the house, the check book and trying to find an identity and personal meaning to dreams lost many years ago. It takes a lot of courage to live an authentic life. Not every women I know wants to be married, nor have children, nor be a stay at home mom. Many of the women I know have sacrificed their dreams to marry, work to put a husband through school, raise children, run a busy household while holding down a job, community and church responsibilities. In the end many are left with the feeling of why me? Some women are fulfilled with the traditional expectations and lifestyle, while more and more women are finding there is little satisfaction left over after years of self sacrifice. As women we are constantly weighing, measuring, nipping, tucking, coloring and filling the huge empty spaces in our lives...As women it's easy to get caught up in the frenzy of I need more 'externally' to not only survive but to feel better about myself. I was just thinking how funny it is that we call.... enhancement surgery "Plastic" surgery. Does changing the shape of your nose, the size of your boobs, or chemically filling in your laugh lines .... equal happiness?
Watching Julia Roberts Italy experience brought back such warm memories of my travels to Italy. What a beautiful country and culture. I loved my time in Rome, Florence, Portofino, Pisa and Tuscany. I loved the warmth of the people, the simpleness of the food and the zest for daily living Italians understand. I loved the comment that Julia Roberts makes about having a relationship with her pizza. It's a shame in my own life, I don't always take the time to relish a new experience or try something new... It's easy to get stuck in a rut hurry, easy and meaningless. I challenge you to take the time when you are doing something you love to do! Enjoy! I believe the term is "La Dolce Vita" (Italian for "the sweet life" or "the good life"
I loved watching the transformation of forgiveness through meditation, prayer and self examination. It's not easy to quiet a mind filled with others voices that are constantly shouting ... your not good enough, your to fat, your not pretty enough, you will never be good enough, you will never be happy, love will never find you... I have come to understand the old cliche "Misery Loves Company".. with that being said... it takes courage to step away from family, friends, coworkers who are destructive, manipulative and toxic. What I have learned is that removing myself from such toxic relationships has not only quieted my mind, I have come to realize just how wrong each and every one of those hurtful messages was. I have learned to quiet my mind, meditate daily and harness my energy into accomplishing my goals and desires. Prayer is a powerful reminder of our ability to communicate with God on a daily basis. Pray does change things... most of all it changes the one praying...
Love was my favorite part of the movie.... Just as in 'real' life.... love comes at the end of completing the difficult lessons we all must learn. It's impossible to love completely while holding a grudge, or choosing not to forgive. Like everything in life... we tend to hold ourselves hostage, feeling guilty and willing to take on the sins of others.. as martyrs feeling like this is our DUTY..... As women nowhere in the "Women's Handbook" does it state... We are solely responsible for the happiness of others, while sacrificing our happiness and joy..... I challenge each of you my friends... Love yourselves enough to fill your cup! Take a class, learn a language, read a good book, travel, have a relationship with your pizza!!!!!!!!! Learn to nurture your spirit daily.... When you love yourself completely... you are able to love those around you more fully!
I believe each of us is on the planet for a very specific purpose. Each of us possess unique gifts and talents... when combined with humanity create one huge tapestry of life. Each of us will own a little piece of that great work as we contribute our color, flare and personality.
I believe as women and sisters... our work is monumental and crucial to the survival of our homes, communities, country and collectively our planet. Women have the natural tendency to love without conditions, provide service to those in need and recognize those precious teaching moments when hearts become one and lives are transformed.
I know with ever fiber of my being... Great love does exist for each one of us. Yes there is a Jack for every Jill...For those of you who are searching for love, I wish you all find your "Felipe".. You may not have to travel to Bali.. just far enough into your heart that you are able to recognize what you need to work on, repair, forgive and let go!... I think the greater lesson is not settling for love... but learning to Eat, Pray and Love.
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Watching Julia Roberts Italy experience brought back such warm memories of my travels to Italy. What a beautiful country and culture. I loved my time in Rome, Florence, Portofino, Pisa and Tuscany. I loved the warmth of the people, the simpleness of the food and the zest for daily living Italians understand. I loved the comment that Julia Roberts makes about having a relationship with her pizza. It's a shame in my own life, I don't always take the time to relish a new experience or try something new... It's easy to get stuck in a rut hurry, easy and meaningless. I challenge you to take the time when you are doing something you love to do! Enjoy! I believe the term is "La Dolce Vita" (Italian for "the sweet life" or "the good life"
I loved watching the transformation of forgiveness through meditation, prayer and self examination. It's not easy to quiet a mind filled with others voices that are constantly shouting ... your not good enough, your to fat, your not pretty enough, you will never be good enough, you will never be happy, love will never find you... I have come to understand the old cliche "Misery Loves Company".. with that being said... it takes courage to step away from family, friends, coworkers who are destructive, manipulative and toxic. What I have learned is that removing myself from such toxic relationships has not only quieted my mind, I have come to realize just how wrong each and every one of those hurtful messages was. I have learned to quiet my mind, meditate daily and harness my energy into accomplishing my goals and desires. Prayer is a powerful reminder of our ability to communicate with God on a daily basis. Pray does change things... most of all it changes the one praying...
Love was my favorite part of the movie.... Just as in 'real' life.... love comes at the end of completing the difficult lessons we all must learn. It's impossible to love completely while holding a grudge, or choosing not to forgive. Like everything in life... we tend to hold ourselves hostage, feeling guilty and willing to take on the sins of others.. as martyrs feeling like this is our DUTY..... As women nowhere in the "Women's Handbook" does it state... We are solely responsible for the happiness of others, while sacrificing our happiness and joy..... I challenge each of you my friends... Love yourselves enough to fill your cup! Take a class, learn a language, read a good book, travel, have a relationship with your pizza!!!!!!!!! Learn to nurture your spirit daily.... When you love yourself completely... you are able to love those around you more fully!
I believe each of us is on the planet for a very specific purpose. Each of us possess unique gifts and talents... when combined with humanity create one huge tapestry of life. Each of us will own a little piece of that great work as we contribute our color, flare and personality.
I believe as women and sisters... our work is monumental and crucial to the survival of our homes, communities, country and collectively our planet. Women have the natural tendency to love without conditions, provide service to those in need and recognize those precious teaching moments when hearts become one and lives are transformed.
I know with ever fiber of my being... Great love does exist for each one of us. Yes there is a Jack for every Jill...For those of you who are searching for love, I wish you all find your "Felipe".. You may not have to travel to Bali.. just far enough into your heart that you are able to recognize what you need to work on, repair, forgive and let go!... I think the greater lesson is not settling for love... but learning to Eat, Pray and Love.
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Friday, August 20, 2010
Effort and Accomplishment...
“I could use a hundred people who don't know there is such a word as impossible."
Henry Ford
This afternoon I will be recognized as one of the 2010 MCC Service Scholarship recipients. This morning as I am sitting here reflecting over the past year I would like to share my thoughts on effort and accomplishment.
I returned to school exactly one year ago.. I will tell you I was never more clear of any decision in my life than I was with returning to school to finish what I had started 30 years ago. I would be lying if I told you, I use to wonder why in the heck I didn't take my schooling more serious... or why I wasn't a better student then, would my life have been easier as a single educated mother? I think not and here is what I can tell you with every fiber of my being...The greatest lessons I have learned in my life were taught in 'earth school'. I have been blessed by the influence of great teachers, while experiencing the disappointment of others. Many of my lessons had to learned and relearned and then reapplied... You see I was not always the student I am today. For instance... the lessons of ego, forgiveness, judgment and trust have required more study and effort. I have also learned it is imperative you believe in yourself, your ability, your talents and gifts.
Effort is an interesting energy that surrounds each of us at every moment. The level of effort we place on any action or decision is completely up to us. The blessing with effort is... effort is an individual event.. Gandhi once said... You must be the change you wish to see in the world...he also said if you want more love.. you must give more love.. if you want more friends, you must be a better friend, if you want more peace in your life, you must be peaceful.. Our efforts in life directly effect the quality of our experiences, relationships, outcomes and lessons.
Accomplishment on the other hand is the reward for effort.. I made a conscious decision to return to school full time. I also understood that 'short term' financial sacrifices that would be required, but I also understand the future possibilities and opportunities far outweighed the fear of staying were I was. I made a commitment to myself, that I would always give my personal best in regards to my time, attention and effort to my studies. I have come to understand how that very disciplined effort translates to accomplishment. I have been asked to work on incredible projects, invited to meet national and local dignitaries while working with MCC faculty and college students through the Center for Service Learning.
I humbly acknowledge the unrelenting love and support of my children Griffin, Jackie, Brett, Cori, Sweet Henli, Kylie and Ethan... your efforts on my behalf are the reason for my extraordinary accomplishments, I love you all.
I have learned.. I am an excellent student capable of 4.0 effort and accomplishment.
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Henry Ford
This afternoon I will be recognized as one of the 2010 MCC Service Scholarship recipients. This morning as I am sitting here reflecting over the past year I would like to share my thoughts on effort and accomplishment.
I returned to school exactly one year ago.. I will tell you I was never more clear of any decision in my life than I was with returning to school to finish what I had started 30 years ago. I would be lying if I told you, I use to wonder why in the heck I didn't take my schooling more serious... or why I wasn't a better student then, would my life have been easier as a single educated mother? I think not and here is what I can tell you with every fiber of my being...The greatest lessons I have learned in my life were taught in 'earth school'. I have been blessed by the influence of great teachers, while experiencing the disappointment of others. Many of my lessons had to learned and relearned and then reapplied... You see I was not always the student I am today. For instance... the lessons of ego, forgiveness, judgment and trust have required more study and effort. I have also learned it is imperative you believe in yourself, your ability, your talents and gifts.
Effort is an interesting energy that surrounds each of us at every moment. The level of effort we place on any action or decision is completely up to us. The blessing with effort is... effort is an individual event.. Gandhi once said... You must be the change you wish to see in the world...he also said if you want more love.. you must give more love.. if you want more friends, you must be a better friend, if you want more peace in your life, you must be peaceful.. Our efforts in life directly effect the quality of our experiences, relationships, outcomes and lessons.
Accomplishment on the other hand is the reward for effort.. I made a conscious decision to return to school full time. I also understood that 'short term' financial sacrifices that would be required, but I also understand the future possibilities and opportunities far outweighed the fear of staying were I was. I made a commitment to myself, that I would always give my personal best in regards to my time, attention and effort to my studies. I have come to understand how that very disciplined effort translates to accomplishment. I have been asked to work on incredible projects, invited to meet national and local dignitaries while working with MCC faculty and college students through the Center for Service Learning.
I humbly acknowledge the unrelenting love and support of my children Griffin, Jackie, Brett, Cori, Sweet Henli, Kylie and Ethan... your efforts on my behalf are the reason for my extraordinary accomplishments, I love you all.
I have learned.. I am an excellent student capable of 4.0 effort and accomplishment.
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Gratitude................................................................................
I was listening to Deepak Chopra talk about ~gratitude~ last night. I have decided to honor myself in taking a few minutes each day to meditate. Quieting my thoughts while really pondering the profound blessings in my life and to simply give thanks. This morning I took my meditation poolside. As I closed my eyes, I was aware of the warm sun upon my face, I could feel the wind gently moving through my hair, I heard the little insects buzzing about there business, I felt the cool water refresh me. I took time to really embrace each of my children and hold them near to my heart. I sent blessings of joy, health and prosperity to each one of them. I also held little Henli Grace close to my heart, I sent her blessings of health and bliss. I was so close to my children it was impossible to stop of tears of gratitude for my wonderful life.
I have found a profound gratitude in being silent while taking precious moments to reflect on my life, my loves and my incredible blessings.
Take time in your hectic life to be silent... No thoughts of what you should be doing, have to be doing, didn't do...no guilt, no pressure and no hurry.. Spending time with yourself is a gift only you can give you.. Love yourself, give thanks for your spirit, beauty, your eyes, heart, physical body.. your presence.. your life.
Spend time allowing gratitude to gently move through you...touching your very soul...
It's impossible not to feel the presence of God.
Today live with Intensity and Purpose!
Infinite Blessings!
Carla
I have found a profound gratitude in being silent while taking precious moments to reflect on my life, my loves and my incredible blessings.
Take time in your hectic life to be silent... No thoughts of what you should be doing, have to be doing, didn't do...no guilt, no pressure and no hurry.. Spending time with yourself is a gift only you can give you.. Love yourself, give thanks for your spirit, beauty, your eyes, heart, physical body.. your presence.. your life.
Spend time allowing gratitude to gently move through you...touching your very soul...
It's impossible not to feel the presence of God.
Today live with Intensity and Purpose!
Infinite Blessings!
Carla
Thursday, August 5, 2010
She feared for her life... and rightfully so...
Tonight I sat down and started watching the news, as a 'FOX News Alert' came scrolling across the screen. The breaking news has become all to common, a woman in a Kansas City suburb had been murdered by her husband just before noon today in her home in front of their two children. The murder weapon had started as a barrage of hurtful words and insults, followed by physical abusive which started to intensify has unemployment and foreclosure took their toll. She become more desperate to escape knowing at some point he may just make good on his promise to kill her.
They had separated 6 months ago, she remained in their house with the kids. She had initiated filing for divorce. She had taken the measures she could. She filed for an order of protection, notified her family, neighbors, friends and the children's school to give them all a heads up. She was vigilant in keeping a constant watch over her children and her safety and in the end, her words would become a self fulfilling prophecy. I fear for my life, he is going to kill me. Both sides of the family were very familiar with the depth of their domestic issues.
Today just after noon, he entered his home armed with a gun and in unspeakable violence shot and killed his estranged wife at point blank range in front of his two children who watched in horror. The older child's voice can be heard on the 911 call, frantically describing what he had seen, crying and begging for help. After an intense manhunt in Olathe, the police found him hiding in his car, and arrested him with no further incident. Not only did this man take his wife's life, he profoundly changed the future for his two children. They are also victims of his rage and abuse. Tonight not only has their mother been taken from them in death, their father will no longer have the daily contact with them. Tonight their fate remains up in the air as family members try to make sense of the tragic turn of events. He is being held on suicide watch tonight and is expected to be formally charged with capital murder in the killing of his estranged wife tomorrow.
I myself was involved in an abusive relationship 11 years ago. It's hard to explain how you find yourself getting involved with someone who would hurt you and your kids. I had never been around an abusive relationship so I didn't know what signs or patterns were to look for. I thought love would and could change abusive patterns of behavior. I was naive in understanding the abusive mind and the need for control and power. I really felt alone and isolated. I was fortunate I had a couple of really good friends who knew the danger I was in and they were willing to step in and literally saved my life. I had no idea of the danger I was in or the sudden turn of events that would protect me from his wrath.
Even after completing an order of protection, I realized how vulnerable I was and how scary my ordeal was becoming. The only option I had was to call the police every time he tried to make contact with me, the detective assigned to me, asked me to document everything I could. I was shocked that this was it... document or call. I felt so overwhelmed and under protected. I never dreamed I would find myself in such an unhealthy and dangerous situation.
I had to ask myself after I was safe and the relationship had dissolved, why would I place myself in a relationship with a man who had a previous record of 'domestic violence'. The truth is, I thought if I loved him enough I could change him. I have since come to learn abuse is a behavioral issued most likely tied to anger. I have also come to the realization you can't not change anyone except yourself.
Women and children are easy targets for abuse. Many are under the impression that domestic violence occurs more in lower income single parent homes. WRONG.... abuse is present in every social circle within our communities.
What is your experience with abuse? Abuse takes many forms... verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual and cultural. What's your abuse IQ? Could you recognize the outward signs? Are you strong enough to leave?
I was so fortunate not only did I have a great friend, I also had Plan B. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard...not all aspects of the relationship are hard or bad. This is what is so confusing. How can a relationship that is so dangerous be so exciting?
My goal is to create a dialog on this topic. What can I do as a woman to help educate other women to the dangers of abuse? Can I share my own story? Create more of an awareness with my experiences? Abuse is real, dangerous and deadly if gone untreated.
Sister's I encourage you to become aware of those sweet women around you who are feeling beaten, discouraged and fearful. There should never been a woman or a child who feels fearful for their lives....
What do you think? Please take a minute to share.If you are aware of great local resources in your area please let me know. I would love to post everything we come up with. Together we can be our Sister's Keeper.
Live with Intensity and Purpose! You can make a profound difference in some one's life today.
With courage,
Carla
They had separated 6 months ago, she remained in their house with the kids. She had initiated filing for divorce. She had taken the measures she could. She filed for an order of protection, notified her family, neighbors, friends and the children's school to give them all a heads up. She was vigilant in keeping a constant watch over her children and her safety and in the end, her words would become a self fulfilling prophecy. I fear for my life, he is going to kill me. Both sides of the family were very familiar with the depth of their domestic issues.
Today just after noon, he entered his home armed with a gun and in unspeakable violence shot and killed his estranged wife at point blank range in front of his two children who watched in horror. The older child's voice can be heard on the 911 call, frantically describing what he had seen, crying and begging for help. After an intense manhunt in Olathe, the police found him hiding in his car, and arrested him with no further incident. Not only did this man take his wife's life, he profoundly changed the future for his two children. They are also victims of his rage and abuse. Tonight not only has their mother been taken from them in death, their father will no longer have the daily contact with them. Tonight their fate remains up in the air as family members try to make sense of the tragic turn of events. He is being held on suicide watch tonight and is expected to be formally charged with capital murder in the killing of his estranged wife tomorrow.
I myself was involved in an abusive relationship 11 years ago. It's hard to explain how you find yourself getting involved with someone who would hurt you and your kids. I had never been around an abusive relationship so I didn't know what signs or patterns were to look for. I thought love would and could change abusive patterns of behavior. I was naive in understanding the abusive mind and the need for control and power. I really felt alone and isolated. I was fortunate I had a couple of really good friends who knew the danger I was in and they were willing to step in and literally saved my life. I had no idea of the danger I was in or the sudden turn of events that would protect me from his wrath.
Even after completing an order of protection, I realized how vulnerable I was and how scary my ordeal was becoming. The only option I had was to call the police every time he tried to make contact with me, the detective assigned to me, asked me to document everything I could. I was shocked that this was it... document or call. I felt so overwhelmed and under protected. I never dreamed I would find myself in such an unhealthy and dangerous situation.
I had to ask myself after I was safe and the relationship had dissolved, why would I place myself in a relationship with a man who had a previous record of 'domestic violence'. The truth is, I thought if I loved him enough I could change him. I have since come to learn abuse is a behavioral issued most likely tied to anger. I have also come to the realization you can't not change anyone except yourself.
Women and children are easy targets for abuse. Many are under the impression that domestic violence occurs more in lower income single parent homes. WRONG.... abuse is present in every social circle within our communities.
What is your experience with abuse? Abuse takes many forms... verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual and cultural. What's your abuse IQ? Could you recognize the outward signs? Are you strong enough to leave?
I was so fortunate not only did I have a great friend, I also had Plan B. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard...not all aspects of the relationship are hard or bad. This is what is so confusing. How can a relationship that is so dangerous be so exciting?
My goal is to create a dialog on this topic. What can I do as a woman to help educate other women to the dangers of abuse? Can I share my own story? Create more of an awareness with my experiences? Abuse is real, dangerous and deadly if gone untreated.
Sister's I encourage you to become aware of those sweet women around you who are feeling beaten, discouraged and fearful. There should never been a woman or a child who feels fearful for their lives....
What do you think? Please take a minute to share.If you are aware of great local resources in your area please let me know. I would love to post everything we come up with. Together we can be our Sister's Keeper.
Live with Intensity and Purpose! You can make a profound difference in some one's life today.
With courage,
Carla
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
What's the Point ...
of all this, If your not going to let this change you?
I first saw the movie, "To Save A Life" in February, based on a good friend's recommendation. Karen and I see a lot of movies together and she said this was one of the best movies she had ever seen. There was no world wide red carpet event, no big dollar Hollywood stars, no big media blitz and no midnight showing. What this movie does share is a profound message of unconditional love, forgiveness and the changes that occur when you place more of an emphasis on the needs of others than yourself.
The story is the amazing journey of a young man named Jake Taylor. Jake has an enviable life, on the outside he is devastatingly handsome, very athletic, a great student, dating the most gorgeous girl.. and heading off to college in the fall on a full ride Athletic scholarship. His dream is becoming his reality. The blind spots in his life will prove to complicate his future.
His journey starts when an estranged friend takes his life. If you haven't seen the movie go rent it or buy it. I don't want to spoil the outcome and your experience of watching the movie.
The point that I will make is this. How many of us walk through each day oblivious to those around us? How many of us parents really understand the struggles our children are facing today with intense peer pressure. The need to be beautiful and thin while fitting into the 'popular' group. Drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, sex, sexually transmitted diseases and suicide are all very harmful to our children and destroying families and communities.
What can we as parents do to reconnect with our children who are distant? As a single parent for years (especially during high school) I found myself at times very distant from my children. Being a part of a faith based community it's easy to compare yourself to the Cleaver's who live down the street behind their white picket fence filled with sunshine and rainbows, while at my house an occasional thunderstorm passes through and I feel like a failure. Yes I did hear a couple of times, how sad your single, divorced kids don't have a chance... I did have my challenges with my children and at times felt very overwhelmed, out numbered and alone. However I am happy to say our family has healed the wounds from our past. Each of us has learned to communicate in truth and listen with compassion. During those early years after my divorce it was difficult dealing with typical 'teenage' issues when I was going through my own stuff. I had to learn to make changes, like really being present and listening. To many times as adults do we stop and really listen? Or do we fire hose our children with blah blah blah? If your not connecting your child is not listening... the outcome will always be frustration and anger for both parties.
First off... you are not alone! There are unlimited resources available for you to navigate through the really difficult parts. Counseling and support groups are readily available. I was so fortunate to have my best friend Laura. I can discuss anything with her because she is a big heart with ears. There is never any judgment, she loves my children and they not only return her love, they respect her.
Also... when we teach our children to pay (random acts of kindness forward) we are setting the foundation for our children to value others more and minimize the amount of time spent on themselves. I love the scripture from Mosiah 2:17
"When Ye Are in the Service
of Your Fellow Beings Ye Are Only in the
Service of Your God" (Mosiah 2:17)
Your children are less likely to hear what you say... but they are most likely to follow your example.
Take an inventory of the lesson's you have taught your children... while being equally as honest about the crucial life lessons you have withheld for what ever reason. There is no success for failing in your home. Take the time to instill in your children the unconditional love you feel for them everyday. Let your children see you practicing forgiveness while never letting them hear you judge another.
Teach your children to open their eyes and hearts while walking through life. After all what's the point of all this if your not going to let it change you..
Live with Intensity and Purpose! Make every moment count!
Infinite Blessings
Carla
I first saw the movie, "To Save A Life" in February, based on a good friend's recommendation. Karen and I see a lot of movies together and she said this was one of the best movies she had ever seen. There was no world wide red carpet event, no big dollar Hollywood stars, no big media blitz and no midnight showing. What this movie does share is a profound message of unconditional love, forgiveness and the changes that occur when you place more of an emphasis on the needs of others than yourself.
The story is the amazing journey of a young man named Jake Taylor. Jake has an enviable life, on the outside he is devastatingly handsome, very athletic, a great student, dating the most gorgeous girl.. and heading off to college in the fall on a full ride Athletic scholarship. His dream is becoming his reality. The blind spots in his life will prove to complicate his future.
His journey starts when an estranged friend takes his life. If you haven't seen the movie go rent it or buy it. I don't want to spoil the outcome and your experience of watching the movie.
The point that I will make is this. How many of us walk through each day oblivious to those around us? How many of us parents really understand the struggles our children are facing today with intense peer pressure. The need to be beautiful and thin while fitting into the 'popular' group. Drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, sex, sexually transmitted diseases and suicide are all very harmful to our children and destroying families and communities.
What can we as parents do to reconnect with our children who are distant? As a single parent for years (especially during high school) I found myself at times very distant from my children. Being a part of a faith based community it's easy to compare yourself to the Cleaver's who live down the street behind their white picket fence filled with sunshine and rainbows, while at my house an occasional thunderstorm passes through and I feel like a failure. Yes I did hear a couple of times, how sad your single, divorced kids don't have a chance... I did have my challenges with my children and at times felt very overwhelmed, out numbered and alone. However I am happy to say our family has healed the wounds from our past. Each of us has learned to communicate in truth and listen with compassion. During those early years after my divorce it was difficult dealing with typical 'teenage' issues when I was going through my own stuff. I had to learn to make changes, like really being present and listening. To many times as adults do we stop and really listen? Or do we fire hose our children with blah blah blah? If your not connecting your child is not listening... the outcome will always be frustration and anger for both parties.
First off... you are not alone! There are unlimited resources available for you to navigate through the really difficult parts. Counseling and support groups are readily available. I was so fortunate to have my best friend Laura. I can discuss anything with her because she is a big heart with ears. There is never any judgment, she loves my children and they not only return her love, they respect her.
Also... when we teach our children to pay (random acts of kindness forward) we are setting the foundation for our children to value others more and minimize the amount of time spent on themselves. I love the scripture from Mosiah 2:17
"When Ye Are in the Service
of Your Fellow Beings Ye Are Only in the
Service of Your God" (Mosiah 2:17)
Your children are less likely to hear what you say... but they are most likely to follow your example.
Take an inventory of the lesson's you have taught your children... while being equally as honest about the crucial life lessons you have withheld for what ever reason. There is no success for failing in your home. Take the time to instill in your children the unconditional love you feel for them everyday. Let your children see you practicing forgiveness while never letting them hear you judge another.
Teach your children to open their eyes and hearts while walking through life. After all what's the point of all this if your not going to let it change you..
Live with Intensity and Purpose! Make every moment count!
Infinite Blessings
Carla
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Everything Happens for a Reason....
This morning I was gently reminded that 'everything happens for a reason'. I arrived at the airport at 5:00 am this morning anticipating a non eventful trip from Phoenix to Minneapolis arriving in Kansas City by 3:30. I made my reservation with the idea of spending as much time possible with Cori, helping her with Henli. Cori is getting ready to return to work next week and has a company meeting she must attend Wednesday and Thursday in Des Moines. She asked me prior to Henli's birth if I would come. I was on a mission this morning to get checked in, through security and to the gate. At 5:40 am I received a call from the Delta call center letting me know my flight had been cancelled. Delta had re-routed me to Atlanta then doubling back to Kansas City, my connection times would be tight only to arrive very late in the afternoon. My heart sank... I felt sick about spending the whole day not making my final destination when I knew Cori and Henli really needed me to be on time. I was frantic and called Cori, she was very calm and said, "Mom, just breathe everything happens for a reason".
The gate agent for Delta was not only unsympathetic she was down right rude. I was in shock at her blaming me for the flight cancellation. After 2 minutes of dealing with Tracy.. I was done. The other gate agent called his supervisor who came to the gate right away. He understood my frustration, I understood the flight being cancelled was out of any one's control, however the way I was treated at the gate was within the gate agents control. The supervisor was amazing, he asked for a minute to see what was available and within minutes he was standing in front of me asking if I would mind flying US Airways non stop to Kansas City, which would get me there at 1:30 with the whole afternoon to be with Brett, Cori and Henli... The tears started streaming down my face. This man was the answer to my prayers. He understood my getting to Kansas City was not only important to me, my arrival was crucial for Cori to get errands done for her leaving for 2 days. He turned a terrible situation into a fairy tale for me, a stranger. Cori was right everything does happen for a reason. Had my flight not been cancelled, I might have been stuck at some random airport...instead my little granddaughter was waiting to pick me up.
I am so blessed. Just when I needed a little divine intervention... Lucanio showed up with the ability to make the decision to re book my reservation on US Air... which put me where I needed to be ahead of the game. Did I mention a smooth flight arriving 20 minutes early. Thank you Lucanio for listening, caring and being the solution I was in dire need of. Thank you for feeling the inspiration to lend me a hand. All ended well.
Today has been 'serendipitous'... Lunch at Legends in Kansas City, errands run, getting Cori ready for her meeting, being in all the right places.
Tonight as I rocked Henli and held her close, I fell in love all over again. There is something simply magical about being a grandmother... I can't explain it, won't try cuz it won't matter. You can only experience this extraordinary blessing when you become a grandparent. Tonight I am on official 'Nana' duty.
I encourage you to reflect on a little divine intervention that has recently taken place in your life. How did you feel knowing you had divine help in your corner? How many times have you been the one who can listen, care and make all the difference in another's life?
STOP, LOOK and LISTEN....You never know when your divine nature will be called upon to make a difference in a strangers life....Today I had a refresher course on being prepared!
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
The gate agent for Delta was not only unsympathetic she was down right rude. I was in shock at her blaming me for the flight cancellation. After 2 minutes of dealing with Tracy.. I was done. The other gate agent called his supervisor who came to the gate right away. He understood my frustration, I understood the flight being cancelled was out of any one's control, however the way I was treated at the gate was within the gate agents control. The supervisor was amazing, he asked for a minute to see what was available and within minutes he was standing in front of me asking if I would mind flying US Airways non stop to Kansas City, which would get me there at 1:30 with the whole afternoon to be with Brett, Cori and Henli... The tears started streaming down my face. This man was the answer to my prayers. He understood my getting to Kansas City was not only important to me, my arrival was crucial for Cori to get errands done for her leaving for 2 days. He turned a terrible situation into a fairy tale for me, a stranger. Cori was right everything does happen for a reason. Had my flight not been cancelled, I might have been stuck at some random airport...instead my little granddaughter was waiting to pick me up.
I am so blessed. Just when I needed a little divine intervention... Lucanio showed up with the ability to make the decision to re book my reservation on US Air... which put me where I needed to be ahead of the game. Did I mention a smooth flight arriving 20 minutes early. Thank you Lucanio for listening, caring and being the solution I was in dire need of. Thank you for feeling the inspiration to lend me a hand. All ended well.
Today has been 'serendipitous'... Lunch at Legends in Kansas City, errands run, getting Cori ready for her meeting, being in all the right places.
Tonight as I rocked Henli and held her close, I fell in love all over again. There is something simply magical about being a grandmother... I can't explain it, won't try cuz it won't matter. You can only experience this extraordinary blessing when you become a grandparent. Tonight I am on official 'Nana' duty.
I encourage you to reflect on a little divine intervention that has recently taken place in your life. How did you feel knowing you had divine help in your corner? How many times have you been the one who can listen, care and make all the difference in another's life?
STOP, LOOK and LISTEN....You never know when your divine nature will be called upon to make a difference in a strangers life....Today I had a refresher course on being prepared!
Live with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
Monday, August 2, 2010
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, a year?
I took a personal liberty this afternoon; I decided I was going to spend the afternoon with myself. I am leaving in the morning to spend a week with Cori, Brett and Henli. This chance meeting presented itself after weeks of a relentless summer school schedule, I wanted to decompress, regroup and recharged my spirit and breathe.
I have always had a love affair with the sun. I love to sit outside and feel the warm rays penetrate my entire body. For me the sun has been a constant companion, encouraging my healing while helping me pause and take notice of the life going on around me.
Armed with my Ray Bans, i-pod, beach towel and bottle of water, I set out for the pool to find myself. The cool pool water refreshes me as I watch a little hummingbird working hard to pollinate flowers. I stop and count my many blessings starting with my kids who create the center of my universe.…My i-pod on shuffle I head Donny Osmond start to sing….
”Season’s of Love” from Rent.
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
I found myself reflecting on 525,600 minutes…sounds like a lot…Yet every year those minutes become more precious and fleeting, I wonder how many of those precious minutes I spent worrying about a situation that never comes to pass, how could I return to school, what about my finances, my kids, how could I make this work… The one variable I never took into consideration was... regardless of whether I was working towards my goals or worrying about them, time was not going to wait for me. I am happy to report my return to school has been an incredible experience, 3 semesters into school I am a 4.0 student, I have secured the perfect part time job, my kids completely support and encourage me while working towards their own educational dreams. Life has been 'Serendipitous'.
As the words to the song continued to play…I found myself smiling… I asked myself how you, Carla measure a year do. Here is my version of …”Season’s of Life”… In daylights, in sunsets, in laughter, in tears, in friendships, in touches, in hugs, in kisses, in kindness, in prayers, in gratitude, in service, in teaching, in learning… Every minute of every day can be filled with non essentials, like worry, fear,anger, jealousy, holding grudges, gossiping and judging all actions that will rob you of your precious time. The choice is yours.
As women our universe is centered around our children, spouse, friends, community service within schools, churches and civic duties. We sacrifice for employers, providing constant care and nurturing to everyone except ourselves. By the end of the day, week, month and year there is no more energy to expend on ourselves. Do you feel exhausted, frustrated, angry, taken advantage of, resentful and weighed down at times? It's no wonder... Your cup is empty and your heart is heavy.
Ladies…this is no way to live the measure of your creation. There is no shame in nurturing yourself. As a matter of fact your very existence depends on your taking the time to love yourself. In fact you cannot fully love another until you fall in love with yourself first. I believe the greatest love affair we experience in life is with ourselves. Today I see my life as sands in a hour glass. Each grain representing a precious moment. The challenge for anyone is to stay in the present moment, not spending precious resources trying to change the past. Keep in mind Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Stop and take an inventory of what fills your hour glass. Do you fill each moment with anger, judgment and regrets or are your minutes filled with love, kindness and peace? In life there are no roll over minutes.. Start today by taking the time you need to understand who you are, what you need and how you plan to embrace and make use of your 525,600 minutes…
Today commit to becoming aware of your minutes and how you spend them.
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
I have always had a love affair with the sun. I love to sit outside and feel the warm rays penetrate my entire body. For me the sun has been a constant companion, encouraging my healing while helping me pause and take notice of the life going on around me.
Armed with my Ray Bans, i-pod, beach towel and bottle of water, I set out for the pool to find myself. The cool pool water refreshes me as I watch a little hummingbird working hard to pollinate flowers. I stop and count my many blessings starting with my kids who create the center of my universe.…My i-pod on shuffle I head Donny Osmond start to sing….
”Season’s of Love” from Rent.
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
I found myself reflecting on 525,600 minutes…sounds like a lot…Yet every year those minutes become more precious and fleeting, I wonder how many of those precious minutes I spent worrying about a situation that never comes to pass, how could I return to school, what about my finances, my kids, how could I make this work… The one variable I never took into consideration was... regardless of whether I was working towards my goals or worrying about them, time was not going to wait for me. I am happy to report my return to school has been an incredible experience, 3 semesters into school I am a 4.0 student, I have secured the perfect part time job, my kids completely support and encourage me while working towards their own educational dreams. Life has been 'Serendipitous'.
As the words to the song continued to play…I found myself smiling… I asked myself how you, Carla measure a year do. Here is my version of …”Season’s of Life”… In daylights, in sunsets, in laughter, in tears, in friendships, in touches, in hugs, in kisses, in kindness, in prayers, in gratitude, in service, in teaching, in learning… Every minute of every day can be filled with non essentials, like worry, fear,anger, jealousy, holding grudges, gossiping and judging all actions that will rob you of your precious time. The choice is yours.
As women our universe is centered around our children, spouse, friends, community service within schools, churches and civic duties. We sacrifice for employers, providing constant care and nurturing to everyone except ourselves. By the end of the day, week, month and year there is no more energy to expend on ourselves. Do you feel exhausted, frustrated, angry, taken advantage of, resentful and weighed down at times? It's no wonder... Your cup is empty and your heart is heavy.
Ladies…this is no way to live the measure of your creation. There is no shame in nurturing yourself. As a matter of fact your very existence depends on your taking the time to love yourself. In fact you cannot fully love another until you fall in love with yourself first. I believe the greatest love affair we experience in life is with ourselves. Today I see my life as sands in a hour glass. Each grain representing a precious moment. The challenge for anyone is to stay in the present moment, not spending precious resources trying to change the past. Keep in mind Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Stop and take an inventory of what fills your hour glass. Do you fill each moment with anger, judgment and regrets or are your minutes filled with love, kindness and peace? In life there are no roll over minutes.. Start today by taking the time you need to understand who you are, what you need and how you plan to embrace and make use of your 525,600 minutes…
Today commit to becoming aware of your minutes and how you spend them.
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Sunday, August 1, 2010
A good friend is cheaper than therapy. ~Author Unknown
I have been blessed with great girlfriends. My sweet mom who suffers from advanced Alzheimer's can't remember much, however she remembers my best friend Laura, as a matter of fact she commented that my friendship with Laura has lasted longer than my marriage. We laughed out loud as we reminisced about the past 26 years. Friendship is a history of profound events. During our 26 years we have laughed much, cried a lot, shared our most personal experiences, been there for each other, experienced births, deaths, we both have traveled to be there in difficult situations, divorce, our children growing up, Cori's wedding, Henli's birth, engagements, celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, milestones and great accomplishments. We both lived in Salt Lake at one time. Today I am in Phoenix and Laura is still in Salt Lake, we have lived apart for the past 20 years. There is never distance between us, never an unkind word as a matter of fact there has never been a time we have not talked due to being at odds. Our friendship has endured and flourished.
I have had many women ask me, what the secret has been in our friendship. Laura and I are similar yet different. We are both confident, passionate and sassy. We share a common interest for women's rights, educational and career opportunities and share a strong passion for the generation of our daughters. Here is my top 10 friendship secrets list:
1. Unconditional love and acceptance-no judgment
2. Complete Trust-I know Laura always has my back, she knows I always have her back
3. Respect-we know each other to the core
4. Honesty-we have always told each other the truth in good times and bad
5. Similar beliefs on foundational issues
6. Our friendship is about us, we are not in competition with each other
7. We stay in close contact, talking usually several times a day
8. No topic of conversation is off limits
9. We are more family than friends
10.We both acknowledge how treasured our friendship is
My daughter Kylie shared the following quote with me this morning. I have read this quote many times, but this morning I was listening. I felt each word. Ponder the quote, how does this apply to you.
“There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.”
Yes it's true relationships come to an end for many reasons. I have come to appreciate knowing who really matters in my life, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. Friendship was never designed to be a hardship or complication but an extension of oneself. When my marriage dissolved, the hardest part for me was not losing my husband, instead it was losing a friend, that I thought was my friend. I was devastated to learn my "good" friend decided it was more important for her to be romantically involved with my husband than honor our friendship. There are no words for the level of deception I felt. Both her and I made peace years ago, but I no longer include her as a friend. That title is reserved for those who earn it.
A good friend is the remedy for the daily abuses we field from others long our path. I am surprised at the number of women I talk to who have no close girlfriends. Each admit they feel like they are missing out. Many women really feel this especially when a death or divorce shows up. There is a great opportunity for each of us to be on the look out for a friend.. There are so many who long for friendship and acceptance. There is an unspoken 'sisterhood' that does exist.
There is no question having Laura in my life as proven to be one of the greatest blessings in my life. Her constant inspiration and encouragement have been a much needed foundation in my life. What is the worth of a great friend? Just ask Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte..The girls from Sex and the City, they will tell you... it is cheaper than therapy!
Take an inventory of your friends... size them up and be honest about your friendships that are treasured and those that are barely breathing. "Don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.”
Be the friend you wish to see in your life!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
I have had many women ask me, what the secret has been in our friendship. Laura and I are similar yet different. We are both confident, passionate and sassy. We share a common interest for women's rights, educational and career opportunities and share a strong passion for the generation of our daughters. Here is my top 10 friendship secrets list:
1. Unconditional love and acceptance-no judgment
2. Complete Trust-I know Laura always has my back, she knows I always have her back
3. Respect-we know each other to the core
4. Honesty-we have always told each other the truth in good times and bad
5. Similar beliefs on foundational issues
6. Our friendship is about us, we are not in competition with each other
7. We stay in close contact, talking usually several times a day
8. No topic of conversation is off limits
9. We are more family than friends
10.We both acknowledge how treasured our friendship is
My daughter Kylie shared the following quote with me this morning. I have read this quote many times, but this morning I was listening. I felt each word. Ponder the quote, how does this apply to you.
“There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.”
Yes it's true relationships come to an end for many reasons. I have come to appreciate knowing who really matters in my life, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. Friendship was never designed to be a hardship or complication but an extension of oneself. When my marriage dissolved, the hardest part for me was not losing my husband, instead it was losing a friend, that I thought was my friend. I was devastated to learn my "good" friend decided it was more important for her to be romantically involved with my husband than honor our friendship. There are no words for the level of deception I felt. Both her and I made peace years ago, but I no longer include her as a friend. That title is reserved for those who earn it.
A good friend is the remedy for the daily abuses we field from others long our path. I am surprised at the number of women I talk to who have no close girlfriends. Each admit they feel like they are missing out. Many women really feel this especially when a death or divorce shows up. There is a great opportunity for each of us to be on the look out for a friend.. There are so many who long for friendship and acceptance. There is an unspoken 'sisterhood' that does exist.
There is no question having Laura in my life as proven to be one of the greatest blessings in my life. Her constant inspiration and encouragement have been a much needed foundation in my life. What is the worth of a great friend? Just ask Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte..The girls from Sex and the City, they will tell you... it is cheaper than therapy!
Take an inventory of your friends... size them up and be honest about your friendships that are treasured and those that are barely breathing. "Don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.”
Be the friend you wish to see in your life!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Saturday, July 31, 2010
'Just'~free from self-interest or bias........
I was driving to meet a friend for yogurt last night. I couldn't help watching the incoming storm. It's funny how much attention a little wind, thunder, rain and lightening get during the summer monsoon season. I turned down the radio and turned my thoughts to those I know who are struggling in one aspect of life or another. I couldn't think of anyone I know who isn't experiencing a storm of some magnitude.
The word that kept coming to mind was 'Just'. The Dictionary defines 'Just' as:legally or ethically right proper or fitting. Fair to all parties, free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception... Then I again reflected on the struggles of those I know, a young wife who lost her husband unexpectedly in death 10 days ago delivering a little son today who will bear this father name. A friend who is battling cancer with courage and grace. A friend who agonizes over a premature baby who fights for his life. A friend who lives in abuse, silence and fear. She feels there is no way out. A young friend who is in denial about his alcohol addition. A friend who lost her son to a drug overdose.
I don't think its uncommon when we are faced with very difficult trials to ask and even demand WHY ME? Are there really just people who are able to without bias understand our inner most feelings and motives? Are we, as women true advocates for each other? Have you every asked yourself why 2 women are called friends, while 3 women are called competition? How different would our communities be today if women supported each other justly? I can only imagine... and think of the influence and example our children would have to live by. In light of the challenges that surround each of us, there is safe common harbor which is treating each other justly, free from self-interest and bias. Lives would be changed, families would be enriched and our communities would be strengthened .... collectively we are so much more effective and stronger than we could ever be individually.
If I strive to be just, do I look into the eyes, hearts and lives of those around me with love and unconditional acceptance? I believe if we are willing to open our eyes, ears and hearts we can live our lives free from self-interest and bias towards others, which in turn create a deeper desire to get involved sharing our gifts and talents with those around us. Stop and evaluate your treatment of others and how others treat you. Tomorrow make a special effort to be 'just' with someone in your life, then share your experience with me. Together we can change the world, through one act of kindness, understanding, love and simply being there. Interestingly enough... when your aware and in the moment you will be blessed with many opportunities to assist another. Be aware of inspirations you feel...
Life with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
The word that kept coming to mind was 'Just'. The Dictionary defines 'Just' as:legally or ethically right proper or fitting. Fair to all parties, free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception... Then I again reflected on the struggles of those I know, a young wife who lost her husband unexpectedly in death 10 days ago delivering a little son today who will bear this father name. A friend who is battling cancer with courage and grace. A friend who agonizes over a premature baby who fights for his life. A friend who lives in abuse, silence and fear. She feels there is no way out. A young friend who is in denial about his alcohol addition. A friend who lost her son to a drug overdose.
I don't think its uncommon when we are faced with very difficult trials to ask and even demand WHY ME? Are there really just people who are able to without bias understand our inner most feelings and motives? Are we, as women true advocates for each other? Have you every asked yourself why 2 women are called friends, while 3 women are called competition? How different would our communities be today if women supported each other justly? I can only imagine... and think of the influence and example our children would have to live by. In light of the challenges that surround each of us, there is safe common harbor which is treating each other justly, free from self-interest and bias. Lives would be changed, families would be enriched and our communities would be strengthened .... collectively we are so much more effective and stronger than we could ever be individually.
If I strive to be just, do I look into the eyes, hearts and lives of those around me with love and unconditional acceptance? I believe if we are willing to open our eyes, ears and hearts we can live our lives free from self-interest and bias towards others, which in turn create a deeper desire to get involved sharing our gifts and talents with those around us. Stop and evaluate your treatment of others and how others treat you. Tomorrow make a special effort to be 'just' with someone in your life, then share your experience with me. Together we can change the world, through one act of kindness, understanding, love and simply being there. Interestingly enough... when your aware and in the moment you will be blessed with many opportunities to assist another. Be aware of inspirations you feel...
Life with Intensity and Purpose...
Carla
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America..
Throughout my elementary school years every morning we would be asked to stand up, place our hand over our hearts and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I felt so patriotic and safe knowing I lived in America the land of the free and the home of the brave! Today it's a different world.
Last night three Chandler area undercover police men came under gun fire in an undercover operation gone bad. One office lost his life, while two of his comrades are starting the recovery process in area hospitals. Two of the suspects lost their lives as well. What is wrong with people??????? All that is left is grieving families left trying to pick up the pieces and more pain.
Arizona HB-1070 has divided the country down the middle in an emotionally charged issue that has both sides flooding our streets, airwaves and conversations.
There is the constant threat of our borders being breached by terrorists who take on many forms, illegal immigrants, drug dealers, human coyotes, al qaeda and a host of extremists.
At one time, our country was affectionately labeled the 'Melting-Pot'. We welcomed all who came for reasons of freedom and opportunity. Coming to America meant a 'better life'. Look at the conditions in our communities today, gangs who roam the streets selling drugs and intimidating residents living in the neighborhoods. More and more students dropping out and not graduating from high school. Significant increases in reported domestic violence, increasing home invasions and violent crimes. Women and children bare the brunt of this abuse. Protective shelters are crowded with dwindling resources. The social problems we face in our country are staggering.
What's happened to our country and the very freedoms, privileges and opportunities so many have been willing to sacrifice their lives for? Today we live in a very divide country, there's the left, the right, the middle and the tea baggers. Everyday there is more discouraging news of sky rocketing unemployment, a sluggish economy and the millions of families being displaced as the housing market continues to collapse.
President Obama has bailed out Wall Street, Main Street and the Big 3 Auto makers, Insurance companies, Banks and other less than deserving institutions. Huge bonuses were paid to executive who raped and pillaged their companies, leaving them behind for dead. There is scandal everywhere you look, I read this morning of a Mayor in a small Texas town who shot and killed her 19 year old daughter from behind then turned the gun on herself... a murder suicide.. The Mayor had taken executive privilege with her communities credit cards and was being investigated. She took the path of least resistance and decided the payback was not worth it. A tragic story.
As women what can we do to facilitate change within our communities? What are your thoughts on what is happening in your world? Do you watch the news? Are you concerned with the direction the country is moving in? Do you feel you can make a difference?
I would love to hear what is on your minds.. the concerns, your successes and how you are making a difference in your homes and communities.
Take a minute to respond... You never know who will be guided and influenced by your words...
Live with Intensity and Purpose..
Carla
Last night three Chandler area undercover police men came under gun fire in an undercover operation gone bad. One office lost his life, while two of his comrades are starting the recovery process in area hospitals. Two of the suspects lost their lives as well. What is wrong with people??????? All that is left is grieving families left trying to pick up the pieces and more pain.
Arizona HB-1070 has divided the country down the middle in an emotionally charged issue that has both sides flooding our streets, airwaves and conversations.
There is the constant threat of our borders being breached by terrorists who take on many forms, illegal immigrants, drug dealers, human coyotes, al qaeda and a host of extremists.
At one time, our country was affectionately labeled the 'Melting-Pot'. We welcomed all who came for reasons of freedom and opportunity. Coming to America meant a 'better life'. Look at the conditions in our communities today, gangs who roam the streets selling drugs and intimidating residents living in the neighborhoods. More and more students dropping out and not graduating from high school. Significant increases in reported domestic violence, increasing home invasions and violent crimes. Women and children bare the brunt of this abuse. Protective shelters are crowded with dwindling resources. The social problems we face in our country are staggering.
What's happened to our country and the very freedoms, privileges and opportunities so many have been willing to sacrifice their lives for? Today we live in a very divide country, there's the left, the right, the middle and the tea baggers. Everyday there is more discouraging news of sky rocketing unemployment, a sluggish economy and the millions of families being displaced as the housing market continues to collapse.
President Obama has bailed out Wall Street, Main Street and the Big 3 Auto makers, Insurance companies, Banks and other less than deserving institutions. Huge bonuses were paid to executive who raped and pillaged their companies, leaving them behind for dead. There is scandal everywhere you look, I read this morning of a Mayor in a small Texas town who shot and killed her 19 year old daughter from behind then turned the gun on herself... a murder suicide.. The Mayor had taken executive privilege with her communities credit cards and was being investigated. She took the path of least resistance and decided the payback was not worth it. A tragic story.
As women what can we do to facilitate change within our communities? What are your thoughts on what is happening in your world? Do you watch the news? Are you concerned with the direction the country is moving in? Do you feel you can make a difference?
I would love to hear what is on your minds.. the concerns, your successes and how you are making a difference in your homes and communities.
Take a minute to respond... You never know who will be guided and influenced by your words...
Live with Intensity and Purpose..
Carla
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
A Life filled with Intensity and Purpose!
There are moments or should I say experiences that are so profound, difficult and life changing we become changed souls. Life changing as in, I am a profoundly different person with an open heart and open mind. The way I see myself, my children and others has changed. Instead of judging a person from their outward appearance, I now give strangers the benefit of the doubt. I look at them through childlike eyes knowing life can be most difficult. I have come to appreciate the road less traveled. We have all parents and more than likely siblings. We have inherited a set of “family dynamics” ideals,values, the language we speak to each other, the way we interact, our judgments, expectations, personality and physical traits which are the foundation of who we believe we are. Each one of us will experience good days, long days, joy, pain, frustration, accomplishment, love, despair and at times feel very alone. We all share the commonality of being human, imperfect and only able to see the world through our own eyes.
My story though not unique for many, has been the journey of a lifetime for me. I have felt love, despair, great accomplishment, great failure, compassion, envy, joy, heartache, happiness, sorrow, married, divorced, connected to my family, disconnected to my family, at peace, at war, in control, overwhelmed, appreciated, disliked, faith, fear, hope, hopeless, charity, selfishness, and survival..Many powerful emotions. My path has taken the high road, the dirt road and the road less traveled. I have had my heart broken, smashed, shattered, and amazingly after each experience my heart heals stronger and seems to beat faster, with greater understanding, compassion, gratitude and most importantly acceptance of all the circumstances I can’t change.
I have learned by heartrending experience that anger, grudge holding, having to be right all come at a premium to those I love the most. Lucky for me, my children believe in ~Parental Intervention~ …You know where your kids are all together and your feeling out maneuvered, outnumbered and all out of any more reasons to continue with what is not working in your life! This intervention as painful as it was…is my story. Anger was my constant companion for years I never knew how angry I was…how angry I felt and how much energy I exhausted daily being angry. I was on the inside looking out... while my children were on the outside looking in. Little could I realize they had the better view. With that being said, I was also willing to acknowledge my issues, take responsibility and apologize for my actions and seek the help that in the end…would save my life. I have been blessed with four of the most amazing children who never gave up on me, loved me unconditionally and supported my efforts to improve. Griffin, Cori, Kylie and Ethan have been my mentors, advisers, teachers and guides as I have relied on their love, patience and compassion to help me overcome my demons and move forward with my life. The only constant love I have experienced up to this point in my life is the love of my children and my dearest friend Laura. I love you all Big… Without your profound love and influence my journey would be meaningless.
Last year after a layoff, I decided to return to school. One of the best decisions I have ever made. I will admit, the thought of going to school with a bunch of kids wasn't very appealing, however the pain of having to work in a passionless job was less appealing. I can't tell you how many incredible experiences I had that first week as I waded through the long process of returning to a community college. Lines, frustrations, no one who could answer my questions and then money.... how was I going to finance my education. After a family conference and a long conversation with my best friend Laura and discussing my options, the encouragement and support were my answers. So goes my story... at 48 I returned to school full time to complete my college education... This past year has been filled with life changing experiences, my chance meeting with Thomas Nazario Law Professor at San Francisco School of Law, who came to speak at MCC for me, on Creating A Meaningful Life. Tom has founded the organization 'The Forgotten International'... his plight is to help the forgotten women and children of the world with opportunities for a better life. I had the opportunity to attend a VIP reception with Jill Biden, PhD.. yes that Biden she flew in on Air Force 2 with her husband VP Biden. I was one of 4 students currently enrolled in the Maricopa System to come and share my story of why I returned to school.
I had the opportunity to meet Bob Shireman the Under Secretary to the Department of Education and ASU President Michael Crow. I shared my story and my passion for learning and the great opportunity I had to return to school. It was a once in a lifetime experience to say the least. A few days later, Jill Biden called me and asked if she could share my story at an educational summit in Chicago. Both Jill and Michele Obama were speaking about the opportunities for women to return to school and in the process change their lives.
I feel that women are the greatest natural resource on the planet, the best investment the government could make. Developing more robust programs for non traditional students (women) to return to school and complete their educations. My experience at Mesa Community College has been amazing. The personal growth I have developed in confidence, determination and knowledge has changed my life. I no longer listen to those who choose to be critical of me or my children, I don't seek the acceptance or approval of anyone, instead I trust that still small voice. I have come to know and trust myself and the values that I hold dear. I have come to a profound realization in my life, it's not always your immediate family who have the desire or ability to be a support system. My greatest accomplishments in life have come when I have exercised belief in myself wrapped in the unconditional love of my children and beloved life long friends.
My profound realization..... “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh” ...
As I returned to school, I made the following commitment to myself. I would give my very best effort 100% of the time...every moment.. My goal has been to finish each semester with a 4.0 GPA. Each time I pull up my grades online....the tears come streaming down my face... just to the right of each one of my classes is an "A"..the tears represented many feelings, emotions and triumphs...especially knowing that what others think of me no longer matters. I am braver than I believed, stronger than I seemed and definitely smarter than I thought....I have now completed 3 semester, my GPA is still a 4.0 and my direction and course are more clear.
My Ah Ha moment....Trusting myself to let go of the painful memories of my past and learning to live in the present moment, right here right now enjoying every moment with my children and my precious little grandbaby, Henli. Thank you Lord for your grace and constant watch. I am so blessed to feel your guidance and experience the little miracles you sprinkle on my little family everyday. Help me to share your light and love.
To those of you who will read this post... I send infinite blessings of peace, joy and love to each of you as you are traveling down your path!
Live with Intensity and Purpose! Come out of the shadows your life is waiting.
Carla
My story though not unique for many, has been the journey of a lifetime for me. I have felt love, despair, great accomplishment, great failure, compassion, envy, joy, heartache, happiness, sorrow, married, divorced, connected to my family, disconnected to my family, at peace, at war, in control, overwhelmed, appreciated, disliked, faith, fear, hope, hopeless, charity, selfishness, and survival..Many powerful emotions. My path has taken the high road, the dirt road and the road less traveled. I have had my heart broken, smashed, shattered, and amazingly after each experience my heart heals stronger and seems to beat faster, with greater understanding, compassion, gratitude and most importantly acceptance of all the circumstances I can’t change.
I have learned by heartrending experience that anger, grudge holding, having to be right all come at a premium to those I love the most. Lucky for me, my children believe in ~Parental Intervention~ …You know where your kids are all together and your feeling out maneuvered, outnumbered and all out of any more reasons to continue with what is not working in your life! This intervention as painful as it was…is my story. Anger was my constant companion for years I never knew how angry I was…how angry I felt and how much energy I exhausted daily being angry. I was on the inside looking out... while my children were on the outside looking in. Little could I realize they had the better view. With that being said, I was also willing to acknowledge my issues, take responsibility and apologize for my actions and seek the help that in the end…would save my life. I have been blessed with four of the most amazing children who never gave up on me, loved me unconditionally and supported my efforts to improve. Griffin, Cori, Kylie and Ethan have been my mentors, advisers, teachers and guides as I have relied on their love, patience and compassion to help me overcome my demons and move forward with my life. The only constant love I have experienced up to this point in my life is the love of my children and my dearest friend Laura. I love you all Big… Without your profound love and influence my journey would be meaningless.
Last year after a layoff, I decided to return to school. One of the best decisions I have ever made. I will admit, the thought of going to school with a bunch of kids wasn't very appealing, however the pain of having to work in a passionless job was less appealing. I can't tell you how many incredible experiences I had that first week as I waded through the long process of returning to a community college. Lines, frustrations, no one who could answer my questions and then money.... how was I going to finance my education. After a family conference and a long conversation with my best friend Laura and discussing my options, the encouragement and support were my answers. So goes my story... at 48 I returned to school full time to complete my college education... This past year has been filled with life changing experiences, my chance meeting with Thomas Nazario Law Professor at San Francisco School of Law, who came to speak at MCC for me, on Creating A Meaningful Life. Tom has founded the organization 'The Forgotten International'... his plight is to help the forgotten women and children of the world with opportunities for a better life. I had the opportunity to attend a VIP reception with Jill Biden, PhD.. yes that Biden she flew in on Air Force 2 with her husband VP Biden. I was one of 4 students currently enrolled in the Maricopa System to come and share my story of why I returned to school.
I had the opportunity to meet Bob Shireman the Under Secretary to the Department of Education and ASU President Michael Crow. I shared my story and my passion for learning and the great opportunity I had to return to school. It was a once in a lifetime experience to say the least. A few days later, Jill Biden called me and asked if she could share my story at an educational summit in Chicago. Both Jill and Michele Obama were speaking about the opportunities for women to return to school and in the process change their lives.
I feel that women are the greatest natural resource on the planet, the best investment the government could make. Developing more robust programs for non traditional students (women) to return to school and complete their educations. My experience at Mesa Community College has been amazing. The personal growth I have developed in confidence, determination and knowledge has changed my life. I no longer listen to those who choose to be critical of me or my children, I don't seek the acceptance or approval of anyone, instead I trust that still small voice. I have come to know and trust myself and the values that I hold dear. I have come to a profound realization in my life, it's not always your immediate family who have the desire or ability to be a support system. My greatest accomplishments in life have come when I have exercised belief in myself wrapped in the unconditional love of my children and beloved life long friends.
My profound realization..... “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh” ...
As I returned to school, I made the following commitment to myself. I would give my very best effort 100% of the time...every moment.. My goal has been to finish each semester with a 4.0 GPA. Each time I pull up my grades online....the tears come streaming down my face... just to the right of each one of my classes is an "A"..the tears represented many feelings, emotions and triumphs...especially knowing that what others think of me no longer matters. I am braver than I believed, stronger than I seemed and definitely smarter than I thought....I have now completed 3 semester, my GPA is still a 4.0 and my direction and course are more clear.
My Ah Ha moment....Trusting myself to let go of the painful memories of my past and learning to live in the present moment, right here right now enjoying every moment with my children and my precious little grandbaby, Henli. Thank you Lord for your grace and constant watch. I am so blessed to feel your guidance and experience the little miracles you sprinkle on my little family everyday. Help me to share your light and love.
To those of you who will read this post... I send infinite blessings of peace, joy and love to each of you as you are traveling down your path!
Live with Intensity and Purpose! Come out of the shadows your life is waiting.
Carla
Monday, July 26, 2010
Being the change you wish to see in the world.....
What a powerful quote from a quiet peaceable man. Gandhi understood the power of thoughts, words and actions. He was able to influence a nation and people struggling for Independence, to embrace peaceful protests instead of violence. His example and message are timeless... ~You must be the change you wish to see in the world~ Gandhi.
Today we live in a world of social, economical, spiritual and political unrest. Hard times, little money, lost employment, stresses within marriages, partnerships and with children. The oil spill in the Gulf, the death of a region. Domestic violence, sexual promiscuity, unplanned and often unwanted pregnancies on the rise. The spread of sexually transmitted diseases is epidemic. Gangs, drugs, eating disorders and Reality TV have literally reduce our nation to subcultures struggling to survive. God's presence is no longer invited nor welcome in many social, educational, sporting and government activities.
I have often wondered why, in the midst of such ciaos can one person begin a movement towards peaceful resolutions, forgiveness, love, acceptance and compassion which literally influences and changes the lives of those who choose to follow?
I have found this answer to be interesting. Although our history books are filled with accounts of brave, strong and fearless men who left their mark in history, sadly there are few accounts of the inspirational women who changed the course of history. Take Rosa Parks for instance, "the first lady of civil rights". At 42 while living in Montgomery, Alabama she made the decision not to give up her seat on the bus to a white man. Rosa Parks inspired a nation with her courage and influenced the Civil Rights movement. One women... One seat.... She had become the change she wished to see in the world.
As women our talents are vast and our influence is far reaching. Never under estimate the influence you have with those around you. Margaret Mead said, "A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
I know many of you are struggling with very real problems, feelings of despair and depression, financial hardships, family and relationship issues, the feelings of being overwhelmed, lonely and alone.
I want to reach out to each of you, I assure you I am here and listening.
My vision is to create a blog site to share our experiences that make each of us unique. An oasis in the middle of life's storms, a safe place where you can come and seek wisdom, inspiration and support.
As women we can change our world... as a matter of fact our very existence depends on it.
Where do you feel your influence is most felt? What is your passion?
I would love to hear from you!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Today we live in a world of social, economical, spiritual and political unrest. Hard times, little money, lost employment, stresses within marriages, partnerships and with children. The oil spill in the Gulf, the death of a region. Domestic violence, sexual promiscuity, unplanned and often unwanted pregnancies on the rise. The spread of sexually transmitted diseases is epidemic. Gangs, drugs, eating disorders and Reality TV have literally reduce our nation to subcultures struggling to survive. God's presence is no longer invited nor welcome in many social, educational, sporting and government activities.
I have often wondered why, in the midst of such ciaos can one person begin a movement towards peaceful resolutions, forgiveness, love, acceptance and compassion which literally influences and changes the lives of those who choose to follow?
I have found this answer to be interesting. Although our history books are filled with accounts of brave, strong and fearless men who left their mark in history, sadly there are few accounts of the inspirational women who changed the course of history. Take Rosa Parks for instance, "the first lady of civil rights". At 42 while living in Montgomery, Alabama she made the decision not to give up her seat on the bus to a white man. Rosa Parks inspired a nation with her courage and influenced the Civil Rights movement. One women... One seat.... She had become the change she wished to see in the world.
As women our talents are vast and our influence is far reaching. Never under estimate the influence you have with those around you. Margaret Mead said, "A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
I know many of you are struggling with very real problems, feelings of despair and depression, financial hardships, family and relationship issues, the feelings of being overwhelmed, lonely and alone.
I want to reach out to each of you, I assure you I am here and listening.
My vision is to create a blog site to share our experiences that make each of us unique. An oasis in the middle of life's storms, a safe place where you can come and seek wisdom, inspiration and support.
As women we can change our world... as a matter of fact our very existence depends on it.
Where do you feel your influence is most felt? What is your passion?
I would love to hear from you!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Christopher Robin was right...
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - Christopher Robin to Pooh
I've thought about this blog for along time. I've pondered the name 'My Sisters' Keeper even longer. Tonight I decided I wanted to reach out to my sisters' and share my thoughts, experiences and story and in turn, create a blog for each of you to share your thoughts, experiences and stories. Together let's build a community for women. Let's celebrate the extraordinary accomplishments of the women in our lives. I want this blog to serve as beacon of light for women to come together in the spirit of friendship, inspiration and encouragement.
Today my life is filled with close loving relationships with my four children, my treasured son in law and my cherished future daughter in law and my 'new grand baby'. I absolutely adore each one of my children, counting my blessings at the incredibly kind, compassionate and accomplished each one of them are. My youngest turned 18 this year, graduating from high school, while my other three have set sail in their own lives. Each child has invested in their future by choosing to further their education. I am so proud of their individual natures and collective support for one another. I am a single mother who has successfully raised her children with the help of a very close knit community. I would like to acknowledge my former husband, Greg and his wife Ann as being very instrumental in working together to raise exceptional children.
I view my life much like 'Chicken Soup' for the Soul.... In the course of my life, I have laughed, cried, triumphed, lost, gained, learned, felt alone, been afraid, had a good cry, felt unbelievable joy and happiness, felt loved and valued and felt overwhelming failure and defeat. I believe through the inspirational experiences of others I have gained a greater perspective of knowledge and living with my authentic self. It's not easy to overcome a lifetime filled with destructive messaging, but it is very possible and the life you change will be your own.
Christopher Robin was right..... ~You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.~
I look forward to hearing from you!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
I've thought about this blog for along time. I've pondered the name 'My Sisters' Keeper even longer. Tonight I decided I wanted to reach out to my sisters' and share my thoughts, experiences and story and in turn, create a blog for each of you to share your thoughts, experiences and stories. Together let's build a community for women. Let's celebrate the extraordinary accomplishments of the women in our lives. I want this blog to serve as beacon of light for women to come together in the spirit of friendship, inspiration and encouragement.
My inspiration is to create an unbreakable chain of women who are authentic, enthusiastic to love, understand and sustain one another while lifting each other to a higher ground and deeper understanding of sisterhood and solidarity. Together we can create the 'change' we wish to experience in our world, especially with our daughters and our sisters who are feeling unloved, abused, overwhelmed and let down by life. Together let's create a movement of unconditional love, acceptance and support for each other.
Today my life is filled with close loving relationships with my four children, my treasured son in law and my cherished future daughter in law and my 'new grand baby'. I absolutely adore each one of my children, counting my blessings at the incredibly kind, compassionate and accomplished each one of them are. My youngest turned 18 this year, graduating from high school, while my other three have set sail in their own lives. Each child has invested in their future by choosing to further their education. I am so proud of their individual natures and collective support for one another. I am a single mother who has successfully raised her children with the help of a very close knit community. I would like to acknowledge my former husband, Greg and his wife Ann as being very instrumental in working together to raise exceptional children.
I view my life much like 'Chicken Soup' for the Soul.... In the course of my life, I have laughed, cried, triumphed, lost, gained, learned, felt alone, been afraid, had a good cry, felt unbelievable joy and happiness, felt loved and valued and felt overwhelming failure and defeat. I believe through the inspirational experiences of others I have gained a greater perspective of knowledge and living with my authentic self. It's not easy to overcome a lifetime filled with destructive messaging, but it is very possible and the life you change will be your own.
Christopher Robin was right..... ~You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.~
I look forward to hearing from you!
Live with Intensity and Purpose!
Carla
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